A
male
age
36-40,
*mbassadeur Koko
writes:I have two girlfriends, "J" and "G" but i want to choose one for marriage.J is a liar but her rest of behaviours are fine with me She is of a class, she is beautiful and hard working. If I marry J, i will battle it up with her to let her settle in the relationship and become mine. It will be hard for me to tune her to my rhythmG loving, caring, honest and hard working. If I marry G, she will settle easily with me and I will not have problem tuning into her.Of the two i love J so much. I really feel her presence when I am with her but for G, I don't have much feelings for her. Can you advise me which one of the two is best for me.
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female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (5 April 2011):
 hi sounds like neither of them is right for you so why not get someone else instead? you don't have the right feelings for G and J doesn't have the right feelings for you. drop them both and look elsewhere instead of trying to change people to fit with youxx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2011): You call one of these women a liar, yet you're the one two timing them. You don't deserve either.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (4 April 2011):
 how can you ever trust a liar?and why does marriage need to be just because you think it's time.IF J lies and it's too much work then leave herIF G is only a month old then perhaps you need more time with her?
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (4 April 2011):
 "G knows about J but J does not. I played J because she was proving worthless by her lies."And in so doing you made yourself a hypocrite. Congrats!What do I mean by that? You're lying to J by omitting that you're in a relationship with G as well. Do two wrongs ever make a right? Seriously man, if your relationship with J couldn't even go 8 months before you cheated on her, whatever your reasons, this will NEVER last in a marriage. You sought a new partner instead of addressing the problems with your current one. That does not FIX anything, it just makes things worse. If you really love someone, you'll want to work through problems, not run away from them into the arms of someone else. This will be my last post here because I feel I'm beating my head against a wall with you. Best of luck in whatever you decide, but know that you will never have a successful relationship until you work on your own problems.
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A
male
reader, Ambassadeur Koko +, writes (4 April 2011):
Ambassadeur Koko is verified as being by the original poster of the question You guys are great advisers and you have challenged me. I am not a player. G knows about J but J does not. I played J because she was proving worthless by her lies. I think I love J and I was almost messing up because of her lies. I am waiting to see how the two of us can settle our problem. Keep advising, I accept it all
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (4 April 2011):
Marriage doesn't make problems magically disappear. Marriages only work when both people put in the effort. Your view of marriage is going to doom you to continued failure.
Whether a relationship works or not doesn't depend on marriage, it depends on how the people involved fit together.
You've had disappointments in the dating world. Big surprise! You cheat, lie, and use people. You need to work on yourself and your morals before you can ever have a successful relationship. Your problem lies within YOU not in the people you choose to date.
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A
female
reader, tinkercharlie +, writes (4 April 2011):
You shouldnt be with either of them nor them with you. You marry someone because you love, respect and want to spend the rest of your life with them. You dont deserve either of them and neither of them should want to marry you!
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A
male
reader, Ambassadeur Koko +, writes (4 April 2011):
Ambassadeur Koko is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWith J am nine month old with and with G I am only one month old with her. I need to settle down and start up a family and i feel the time is now. I am a victim of many disappointments by ladies and I feel this time I should marry one off thatn dating which ends up always in disappointment.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2011): what the heck . ok first question does each women know about eachother . if not i think your player . i can sense a player a mile away . i would dump you quick . your on here asking about to girls you been screwing around hope there is protection with both . but most guys dont care if they get stds . you have to be honest if you are going to be playing with women . you are not at all ready for marriage . but be honest with everyone or dont try and marry anyone .
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (4 April 2011):
Why does one need to be your wife? Why are you locked into these two choices? You should NOT be with either of these women.
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A
male
reader, Ambassadeur Koko +, writes (4 April 2011):
Ambassadeur Koko is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your advise. you have helped me to understand that you don't love a lady to change her the way you want her to be but you love her the way she is. But of the two I need one to be my wife. I left started cheating j because I discovered she is a liar which scared me and I started looking for backup. And now G is proving to be better but I don't love her.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (4 April 2011):
No, because neither is worth it in my opinion. You want to change J in order for her to be with you. If you love someone, you love them the way they are, not the way you want them to change to be.You openly state that you don't really have much in the way of feelings for G. That means you shouldn't be with her either.The other telling thing is that you're with both, basically cheating on them. If someone isn't good enough for you to be with them, and only them, then that's not a relationship worth considering for marriage.
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A
female
reader, muso888 +, writes (4 April 2011):
It sounds as if you love J very much... why settle for G just because she will be 'easy' to fit into your life? If you love J, you will have to find a way to fit into life TOGETHER, not just your way, or hers. I promise if you can compromise with eachother, the feelings you have for her will make for a much better and fufilled life. Good luck!
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