A
female
age
36-40,
*andyk
writes:I was just wondering, can a person be over fat even though they may not be overweight on the scales? I say this because i am 5ft 4.5 and 8st (112 pounds?) but feel really fat. I cant face mirrors and have started buying bigger clothes to hide my body better because i feel ashamed. My boyfriend says i look fine but the thing is he is really critical of himself which makes me think he is about me aswell and he is just hiding it and saying what he thinks i want to hear when he says i look ok.please advise x
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female
reader, candyk +, writes (27 April 2007):
candyk is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for taking the time + help, you're so right about an an inner confidence being much more attractive. Thats what i tend to admire in people most and i want to be that way to. I will try some excercise in attempt to tone up as well as trying to make a list of good things to focus on.
All the best
x
A
female
reader, Carina  +, writes (26 April 2007):
 You are not fat if your weight and height are as you say. In fact I would imagine you're just right! Do you exercise? It mat be that you feel a bit 'flabby' because you don't exercisew enough and that perhaps makes you feel fat. The first thing to do is make sure you have regular exercise. It doesn't have to by the gym. It could be walking, dancing, canoeing, or anything else that you enjoy.
It sounds to me that your main problem is lack of confidence rather than being overweight. I know it's difficult not to be self-critical when you're constantly bombarded with articles and pictures centred around being skeletally thin. Remember that's NOT real life. Look around you at everyone else and you'll see that there are plenty of people your age who are NOT beanpoles. There is no 'correct' way to be. Instead of focussing on things that you feel bad about, try making a list of all the wonderful things about yourself. I'll bet you have some great things about you...and I'm sure your boyfriend thinks so, otherwise he wouldn't be there. Write that list and read it every day to remind yourself. Look in the mirror and see the great things about yourself and tell yourself every day how gorgeous you are. A wonderful smile and an inner confidence is nuch more attractive to most men than being skinny!
If you want any more help with this, let me know. All the best!
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A
female
reader, amiee +, writes (26 April 2007):
 heya hunny,
by the sounds of it theres absolutly nothing wrong with you. maybe the fact that hes critical of himself is rubbing off on you. im 5 ft and im 7 12 and i have a little bit of a belly on me. i find the way to make myself feel better is just to work out. not with an intention to loose weight but to tone up. try doing some simple stomach exorcises they always work for me. :)
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