A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Do you think a woman over fifty should just give up on being sexually yearned for by a handsome man her own age? Suicide is out for me because I love life mightily, but aftergiving out my heart so fully for a series of loving relationships with men and being formally in younger years called a"babe" now I wonder if I will end up empty-handed and alone.The man I love with all my heart thinks we're just friends,andit kills me.In tears Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2009): This is the original writer, and I want to thank everyone for their responses, all of which have been warm-hearted and helpful! Thanks!!
I did tell my handsome friend my feelings, but I think I laid it on a bit heavy in saying that sex was important. Actually , it's not as important to me as simple
acknowledgement of our being a couple (in fact we get invited to parties together!) Sometimes i think he is just thick, which is why I came on (verbally) so strongly, which probably was not the best, but. Still, he does have a right to his freedom, & I have to somehow maintain my balance in all this, but so far I don't know if my words penetrated very deeply... but he seemed glad when I called him today. Said he was walking around the house aimlessly.
I have no idea if anything will change, but I feel, thanks to you guys, that I have been changed.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2009): Im 54 and I understand how your feeling. Tell this man that you love him you've got nothing to loose, only to gain.
Arrange a meeting i.e dinner, walk in the park, and tell him. Bet he'll be well flattered.
GOOD LUCK and please let us all know how you get on.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2009): Do you have a mutual friend you can confide in? This might sound like a bit of a teenagery thing to do, but I never looked twice at the girl who was to become my wife until one day her best friend said "you know she likes you. And I mean she really likes you a lot. Just so you know".
I know, I know - you're thinking, "I shouldn't be playing these kind of games at my time of life," but if you can't tell him how you feel yourself, it's the best chance you have.
However you do it, make a plan and make this happen.
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female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (29 June 2009):
 Have you talked to this friend of yours?
Have you discussed your feelings with him?
I know that it REALLY sucks when you love someone and that person doesn't reciprocate your feelings... but, are you SURE that he doesn't?
If he's truly a friend, you have nothing to lose by telling him. Don't spill about how you're desperately in love, just say, hey, how would you feel about being more than friends.
If he just wants to be friends... at least you tried. Just be grateful for the friendship you have, and the things you do have that you enjoy doing.
I've been told that love happens when you're not looking for it. Never give up!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2009): One thing that helps young people is their confidence, and the unspoken understanding that they're "up for it". The whole word assumes that any unattached 20 year old is looking for a partner, so people go and hit on them. If you're 50, many people may assume that you're satisfied doing crosswords and watching soaps, so they'll leave you alone. It's even worse for women. Men traditionally make the first move, whilst women are passive and wait to be courted.You are going to have to do something really tough - tell the man you love that you love him. I had this situation with a colleague at work - she was pretty, fun and fifty (or thereabouts), and every Monday she would come into work telling me about the man she loved and about how she wanted to be more than friends, but he just didn't get it. This went on for years, and I never found out how it ended because I moved to a different job.So, man up and tell him how you feel. You can change your life if try hard enough. Good luck.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2009): I sure do hope so....I am almost 50 and got out of a bad relationship 6 months ago. I haven't felt like dating yet, I don't feel in a rush, but I hope when I am ready that there are plenty of available men out there!My girlfriend has been dating on plentyoffish.com and she always has dates. You just have to be more selective the older you get!
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female
reader, betty_black  +, writes (29 June 2009):
 Everyone on this planet deserves and needs love! Age is no factor! Let me tell you, my grandad was married for thirty five years to my grandma and she was a raving alcoholic and left him after all that time. Anyway he was 55 at this point and a couple of years later he found the real love of his life who he went on to marry and theyre happy and content. For the first time in his life he knows real love.
So yes, it is possible for anyone of any age to find love and i wish you the best of luck :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2009): It can happen. It seems to me that one of the big reasons we so easily have romances early in life is because we're surrounded by large groups of unattached people our own age -- high school, post-secondary, whatever. The law of averages just works in your favour.
Later in life it just gets a heck of a lot harder, because you're typically in contact with fewer people your own age -- it doesn't happen by default any more, like when you're a teen. And the ones you do meet inevitably carry baggage, just as you do.
So one answer is to be out there doing things you like to do. It might be taking courses in topics that interest you (e.g. community college), it might be participating in church activities, whatever. But if you're out there doing things you like, you have a reasonable chance of meeting someone who shares an interest with you.
And there are the dating services. A friend of mine, not quite 50 yet, shook off a bad divorce and started signing up. He got married this past winter, to a woman over 50. Ya, it took a while (three years, if I recall correctly), but it happened.
So dry your tears and go out into the world. The only thing I can tell you for sure is that it won't happen if you hide at home.
Good luck.
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