A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i have been with my boyfriend for two years. 6 months ago we went through a very very bad rough patch. he was going out 3 times a week, taking alot of drugs and going to this flat where girls were but would never let me come and i was very paranoid. he never wanted to have sex with me and made me feel rejected. one night i saw one of his friends out and we slept together. i was a bitch and i know! this is the second time iv slept with one of his friends. i know this sounds crazy but i do love my boyfriend. i get paranoid he going to cheat so i do it. however i recently found that he cheated with two girls from the flat he used to go to and was texting another girl. he has now stopped going to the flat and the last two months have been amazing. he does not know what i have done, but i forgave him cheating because i knew it was a rough patch and i had also cheated. can we now put this all behind us and be happy?
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male
reader, steph007  +, writes (12 December 2010):
In your relationship NOT the cheating is the real problematic point. Much more that you cannot assure you about that you two belong together - in spite of all the cheating. Till you are young enough some cheating may happen just for your healthy sex drive, and momentary loneliness. But even during cheating you should feel that the real one is he/she. I see that you cannot discuss these adventures you have while belong together. You try to close out the other one from a certain part of your life.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for your help!
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A
female
reader, livelaughlove23  +, writes (11 December 2010):
I understand how you feel. I cheated on my bf once and told him. I regret telling him because he since then has cheated on me like 3 times, with 3 different girls that I know of! (Probably more) But the thing is, if you tell him what you did, he will most likely cheat. OR he will be upset that you went this long without telling him. I would keep it to yourself. Make sure it never happens again. If you tell on yourself...things will get really bad. He'll be P.O'd.
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A
male
reader, Xglow  +, writes (11 December 2010):
No.. If there is anything I have learned its that a relationship is built on trust.
Even though u forgave him, he diddnt forgive u yet cuz you never told him. Im sorry to say that the smart move was to tell him when you forgave him. Its not too late though. You should tell him as soon as possible. You CANNOT have a relationship knowing you cheated on him and he diddnt forgive u yet.
If he truly loves you he will forgive u 2. You forgave him afterall so its only fair.
Be sutble though...
Good luck!
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