A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone I joined a dating website plenty of fish, started talking 2 this guy 3 months back really nice person got on really well,(but have never met)Anyway yes all those 3 months we have spoken or at least text on the phone every day, well that was until wednesday just gone last time i heard from him was 8.30 in the evening Anyway hes now got his phone switched off and have text him and havent heard anything back, Basically it started with me ringing him on my dads work phone, on the other number he gave me which he says never has on, so when his other phone was off i rang that 1, but he answered and i didnt no what 2 say so put the phone down.Since then i had missed call from the same number on wednesday as i dont have my dads work number i asked him 2 ring it back he said it was very strange as we both had the same number ringing upMe without realising and not even thinking about it could be my dads number Anyway its actually now bugging me as i havent heard from him and phone switched off i feel very strange not talking to him, i didnt realise i did have feelings for him even tho he asked me 2 marry him, have kids and he actually loved me i used 2 laugh it off as i thought yeah but we have never met.Now im thinking i have done something really wrong.i want 2 ask him but with the phone being off and him not reply to me i feel kinda upset and back to square 1 again being on my ownHe doesnt no it was me who rang on that number well least i dont think he does I do feel lost without talking to him tho What shall i do???Millie
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female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (11 December 2010):
 Millie, you are lonely and that gets in the way of common-sense sometimes as you justify certain actions that you wouldn't in other circumstances. As the other respondents have pointed out, internet dating is (with a few exceptions) a world of seedy lunatics. Don't believe those cosy adverts on the telly suggesting this is a normal, safe way to meet Mr Perfect. Internet dating is big business and it makes sense that the industry is promoted in a certain way that does not reflect reality. If these adverts said come join our dating agency full of married-types wanting a fling, con artists, 50 year old serial divorcee men living with their potted plant and elderly mother, confused heart-broken people who cannot commit to anyone but their ex, pathological liars and psychopaths who want you in their freezer....they would be out of business in a week! It sounds like you have had a lucky escape from a player. If a man you have never met suggests love, marriage and kids after such a short time then you can be sure he is spinning you a line to get sex. He is telling the same story to lots of women on the internet right now and may have it all typed out in word doing cut/paste. He is gone quiet because he has dangled his rod (literally!) in the ocean and got a bite of one of those other lonely fish...he is busy with that bite at the moment. However, as a serial internet dater he will be back on these dating websites soon as he is an addict and loves the thrill of the chase. He knows women use internet dating because they are lonely and looking for 'the one'. He knows what to say. He has lots of phones so perhaps his wife doesn't know what he is up to, or to keep control over his little black book of e-dates. Whatever the reason, he is best out of your life. He hasn't called you for whatever reason and that should be put behind you. You have been trusting of him and should now learn a life lesson. You don't know someone until you really know them in real life for a while. If you are feeling lonely then internet dating is really not for you. The hope of what might be gets in the way of common-sense. You can get into all sorts of bad situations. It is far better to try and meet someone the old-fashioned way. Ask your friends for a recommendation or just join a community club to pursue a hobby that might bring you into contact with normal people who have shared interests. Good luck!!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2010): if i were you i'd be cautious of sites like plenty of fish and other dating site. you can meet weird guys on dating site.
if i were you i'd leave this guy, move on with your life and try find another guy!
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (11 December 2010):
 Woah, never met you, talking 3 months and he's already talking about marriage, kids, the whole 9 yards? It sounds like a joke to be honest.
You mention you met him on plenty of fish.com, my friend uses that site in fact she calls it plenty of ass.com. Because all the men on there are extremely forward, some married, and are looking for something other than a relationship. Get my drift?
Now, did you guys have any plans to meet up? I mean 3 months of heavily talking and texting I found it strange that you guys have yet to meet. Don't you think? I think that he either isn't who he says he is, or that he found someone else and moved on. You didn't do anything wrong, this is his doing, not yours. So, since he's not taking any of your phone calls, and not giving you the closure you want, I would take it as he is no longer interested in you. Then proceed to move on, that's all you can do. If you want, I would send him one last closing message (if that's possible) on plentyoffish, telling him a phone call saying he's not interested is generally polite.
Beware of plenty of fish.com.
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