A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hi i really need some good advice. Me and my boyfriend had been together for a year and a half, then two months ago i broke up with him, although now i regret it so much becasue i was just confused and i didn't really know what i wanted. I told him i wanted a break then after two weeks realised i wanted to be with him still, told him but he then said he didn't want us to go out anymore. I was heartbroken saw him few times since then and though i arranged it each time we saw each other we'd end up being together again and he would initiate it, he still acted like we were going out cuddling me, stroking my hair etc but when i asked what we were doing he would say he didn't want to be in a relationship he wanted to be on his own and do what he wanted when he wanted. I didn't understand our whole relationship he was always so in love with me and said he never wanted us to break up. The last time i saw him was a week and a half ago i told him how i felt about him and asked if we could try again he said he didn't know for ages then started kissing me again, i figured that meant he still wanted to be with me but when i asked he said he didn't think he wanted to try again that he was unsure about a lot of things. Since then i havn't seen him and have only spoken to him through text messages. I want him back more than i have wanted anything before please could you give me some advice on how i should go about trying to win him back? our paths don't cross unless we arrange to see each other. I am broken hearted without him and please don't just tell me to move on. I don't want to give up on this. Thankyou for your time any tips to make him want me again would help.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, dapone 1 +, writes (24 October 2007):
Dear Anon.
I would like to say i am sorry that you are so very up-set at this time,you are not the problem here, your boyfriend has made his own mind up about your relationship,you said he had told you 'He did not want to be in a relationship,he wanted to be alone so that he could do what he wanted, when he wanted'.
I now this is difficult for you to accept, afraid to say he is now taking advantage of you because, he knows you are you are in this emotional state and he is playing on that to get what ever he wants from you.
This is not what a true friend would do to you, he is stroking you hair and hugging you to give you a false feeling of security, when in fact he is playing on your emotional state because he nows he can, and you alone are at fault for letting him do this to you.
The more you let him get away with this the more he will do it, the more you will get hurt, you must break away from this person, your emotional state of mind is more important than letting this person hurt you, as he his doing now he has NO intention of having you back as his girl friend, but will use you for whatever ends he can whilst you let him get away with this, my advise to you is to see a councilor because you are not accepting the truth of reality, you need to see the truth and wake up from this dream state you are in at this moment, get help before it is too late for you.
No matter what you think, if you read your own letter properly, you will see there is no chance of him being your boy friend ever again, move on.
A
male
reader, agonyunclechris +, writes (24 October 2007):
heya hun x
sounds like you really want him back
and he wants you back too
but i think he might be scared to get back with you because you probably broke his heart and he doesn't need it again
i think you need to stop keep making it so easy for him to love you and use you like he does
your like a rent a girl for him
he will kiss you but not go out with you ???
dont let him do this anymore
if he wants you he needs to go back out with you
take care , tell me what happens
¬chris¬
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A
female
reader, lilgirly +, writes (24 October 2007):
well maybe am wrong but i think he wants u to be his slave after that make sure u get him what he wants...hope am wrong:(..
anyways if u really want him back i think u should make him feel that life without u isn't worth living ....i mean play the game he wants (don't talk a lot,try to crack his code,talk about things he likes,.....)don't tell him u love him that will maybe make him confused cz there is an old saying that says (men r like children)for me that means never give away all the good candy cz soonner or later they wanna try a new knid u don't have(keep him surprised)and if this relationship is ment to be well it will be by time (everything needs time)i really wish u the best of luck and take care of ur self and if things didn't work out well (the best of love is the pain of love)easy for me to say i know ... gd luck bye XXX
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