A
female
age
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anonymous
writes:Whilst sex is an important part of life can a man fall in love with you before he has had sex or vice versa.I think ive fallen in "love" with a man but we havent had sex-is it possible I havent known him long but I do have these feelings BUT I havent slept with him!!!!! I like to hold back a bit. I am not asking about the sex I am asking is it possible to LOVE someone before having sex? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Tigger3165  +, writes (12 July 2008):
 Of course people can fall in love without sex... my fiance and i fell in love before we even met. Before i laid eyes on him in person, i knew he was the one i wanted to spend my life with, and he told me the same. Before we met, we were trying to figure out how to make things work... to work out a permanent situation. sex is just an expression of the love that is already there... not the creation of love.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2008): It is certainly possible to be in love with someone who you do not have sex with. From my limited experience, I have also found that sex is best with someone you love. It is very good with someone who you like and have affection for and not very good with someone who you have no feelings for. I think that love before sex is more normal for younger people with their first sexual partner and sex before love is more normal for someone who has had a partner before, such as divorced people. I actually don’t think that is important whether one has sex before love or not though. It just depends on how a person thinks about it. Either can result in a great relationship, whether it be love before sex or sex before love. Do what you and your partner feel comfortable with. It doesn’t matter what others think as long as you and your partner are happy. If both people are happy with how the relationship is progressing then I believe it is a successful relationship. If one or both people are not happy then the relationship will most likely not succeed.
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A
male
reader, previasc96 +, writes (12 July 2008):
Of course it is possible! Why would people save their virginity till marriage, if this wasn't the case? If you feel you're in love, that is all that matters. You don't have to have sex to those feelings legitimate. IF you fall in love before you have sex, the sex is a whole lot more meaningful anyway.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2008): I think this entirely depends on personality.
For my personality, it`s really important to know certain things about someone - an excercise in spending some time with them to see if I am comfortable, interested,safe and cared for. It this develops into love, then the sex is all the better.
Holding back and finding out what a guy is like is important even if I feel in love. It has taken some years for me to think with my head and love with my heart.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the replies Yes I have always maintained that
love is far from sex-one can have sex with almost anyone and a lot do!!! But love is really caring about someone and putting them first isnt it.
I have seen some people haveing quick sex with someone in beach resorts then the next day they wont even speak to them. Ive seen girls go back to places like Greece to hunt a man they had sex with the year before to find the man is NOT interested - this is not love is it!!!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2008): 30 year old guy here. I told the woman that I dated through all of college (and two years of "post-college") that I loved her before we slept together. We dated for six months before we slept together. I told her that I loved her about a month prior to that.
Since that relationship ended, though, sex has always come before love.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2008): Sure. In fact, when I am inlove with someone I usually DON'T want to have sex with them too soon. You just want to enjoy their company in a purely platonic kind of way. I mean its really hard to meet someone you really click with anyways. And when you find them, its so special that you just want to enjoy them and not rush anything.
Ironically, when I am not inlove with someone I move alot faster than when I fall inlove.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2008): Sure. With my boyfriend, his "I love you" came before he did. And I have no doubt whatsoever that he said it because he meant it, not because he just wanted into my pants.
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A
female
reader, lexilou +, writes (11 July 2008):
 Its perfectly normal to fall in love first and makes the sex even better!!
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A
female
reader, I care  +, writes (11 July 2008):
 Yes you can find love befor sex cause that's the foundation for a long term relationship not sex. Sex is just an added bonus. To know if you really love someone and they really love you get to know them as a person first find out their likes and dislike see if you guys are really compatible with eachother after all you are looking for a future Mr and Mrs are you not. A lot of men are looking for the same not just a sex partner. I found sex can actually confuse ones true feelings about some one rather than express their true feelings. Look at it this way how can you love someone you don't even know? I hope this advice helps you and I wish you all the best in your future.
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A
male
reader, Swanson +, writes (11 July 2008):
of course it is. Love and sex are pretty much independent of one another.
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A
female
reader, HonningKanin  +, writes (11 July 2008):
 Very simple answer.. Yes
Infact it is very important, I think, if the two people in question already love and respect eachother because then the sex has meaning. I have spoken to some friend who far prefer sex with a loving partner than with someone they just like.
Sex shouldn't start love it should be a display of love that is already there.
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