A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Can someone help? I am female in a relationship of 1 1/2 and a man who lives with me, his family hate me I don't know why, I have tried so hard with them, his sister was a very close friend of mine for 3 years until we met and started dating, that very day she all of a sudden said to him "she is half a shilling and warned him off being with me and also told him about my last relationship and made me out to be the bad party, all of which I don't understand, all his family have said some very slanderous things since and it has never really stopped no matter what I do. He lied about his past and hid the fact that he dealt in illegal porn, which he down loaded and sold to people, he spoke of an extremely sexual nature to other women; he prefers to work with women than men.The last year or so of his last relationship he would go out on a regular basis and flirt, all of which I found out after he moved in. when we met for the first time, he spoke to me all night in a sexual manner, saying he preferred blonde's and thigh length boots, all of which I am not, I replied and said he should look for his type he said I was his type, of which I told him I didn’t like. He continued for some weeks after until I said I had enough and couldn’t be with him. He did stop, but then the lies came. He stayed at his ex's sister's house and lied to me and his own son about it, I actually found out off the person in question her self. he has lied to me a lot, constantly texting,ringing his ex behind my back, always when around me he has his phone off or on silent, brought his computer to my house and took days to clear what ever off it, but left something, if u know what I mean(porn) and claimed it was his son’s of 17 and he down loaded it for him. His friend visited and he would not introduce me to him, he took him in the garage for all the time he was here. He wanted to pretend that we had ended the relationship all for his ex's benefit. His ex and her sister and her new partner threaten me to an extreme nature , he was at their house at the time and heard it all, and on the other occasions when they have threaten me in front of him he has said or did nothing. all of which I think has ended, except the wondering off when we argue and not telling me where or when he is returning and he never wants to sort out a situation of any kind with me or argument all he does is not speak to me for days and disappears as and when it suits him, and all he does is sit there with his head in his hands and won't speak or even look at me, its me who does all the talking and still nothing really changes. can some one please advise is it me, as I do also have trouble trying to trust him, as much as I thought I could, I do try too is there any one who can advise please?
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male
reader, rcn  +, writes (3 October 2007):
 With such bad family behavior, no wonder where he has learned to act in this manner. It sounds like this whole family has a screw loose somewhere.
I would end this. You don't deserve to be treated this way, and you don't deserve to be with a wimp who can't face issues or attempt to work them out. You said he was selling porn, that tells me right there, SAY GOODBYE. His family making threats, turn them over to the police there. You have to teach them that you are a person and under no circumstances to they have any right to treat you in the manner they have been.
He won't even stick up for you, what kind of person is that. I've stood up for people I've never even met in the past. I've told people in public that I'm trying to enjoy myself so they need to take their arguments elsewhere. You need to lay down how you deserve to be treated and DO NOT budge from that. You deserve much more than these people have been giving you. Put your foot down, and demand better treatment, or walk away from it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2007): Hello, dont you just hate boyfriends familys?!?!?! argha they drive me crazy, im kind of going through what you are as well, as in, my boyfriends sisters are just in bitch mode 24/7, lucky for me tho, of that i kno, my boyfriend isnt playing me for a fool.lisen my friend, i understand you love this man, but let me ask you this one question, 'many years ago when you was a little girl, did you ever dream of being in a relationship like this.. is this the future you wanted?'its a shame this man allows this to happen, its an even bigger shame that you are sticking around to endure it, its easier said than done, but if i was you i would get a backbone and leave this looser. speak to him,if he does not want to lisen, then its obvious he just doesnt care about your feelings. If his sisters threats are really bad, report them to the police. it might seem like there is no1 else out there for you, but trust me...there are some lovley gentlemen out there, who will look after you and make you feel like you are number one. Thats what counts. as for me..the way i see my situation is.. to have my boyfriends family on my side would be brilliant, but i come from a lovley family anyway, a few extras would be nice, but if they dont wanna kno, well then they can suck eggs:)you kno what, never feel like your the only one thats going through relationship problems, everyone does, but remember you are number one, and thats how you shoud be treated.NOBODY HAS THE RIGHT TO DEMEAN YOU!:) X
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