A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hello dear cupid this may sound like a dumb question but can you guys explain love to me?all my life i've never really seen a good relationship. my mother, my aunts and even my older cousins all been in bad relationships and some are still in those bad relationships and if their not they got that (excuse my language) "fuck niggas, do you" mentality. It always involve violance and i grew up watching my parents fight all the time and even tho their not together now they still fight. It bothers me alot and i dont want to go through those things with someone nor do i want to have kids and have to make them go thru wat i went thru growing up. Now im 20 in a relationship with a good guy and i feel like i act just like my mother aunts and cousins with those mentalities. I mean i dont go crazy with it. but I do from time to time give my attitueds especially wen i got those same females in my ear tellin me they told me so's and he aint shit and stuff like that. how can u tell if a guy is ginuwine and faithful?they tell me that i'm naive but how can i love someone if i always got my guard up? someone please explain this to me
View related questions:
cousin Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, shawncaff +, writes (29 December 2010):
 I think Dirtball (as usual) makes an important point as to how to deal with this: Learn from their mistakes. Parents teach both by positive and negative examples. If you want to be on the right road to love, start by observing carefully what you don't like in your relatives' relationships and don't repeat them.As for what love is, yes, much has been written on it. Start by googling it. For sure, though, love involves caring, respect, wishing good for the other person. You are young, and you are asking the right questions. Good luck!
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (27 December 2010):
 You can't love someone if your guard is always up. To truely be in love you have to let them in. A real relationship takes trust, commitment, love, communication, and compromise.
You have to trust that they are telling the truth and that their feelings for you are what they claim.
You have to commit to each other so that you don't have any reason to doubt or feel your trust is misplaced.
You have to communicate so that problems can be addressed and the relationship can continue to grow and evolve.
You have to compromise because a true partnership is give and take. Finding a common ground is very important to long term happiness together.
That leaves love. People have been trying to define love since the inception of the concept of it. Probably since before words. People far more eloquente than myself have tried. My definition of love is pretty basic. It's a combination of emotions. Infatuation, deep caring, and lust all play into it. I'll leave the definition of love to the poets though.
Bad examples all around you don't help. Miserable people often want to spread their misery because as the saying goes, "misery loves company." Learn from their mistakes, and for god sake don't listen to them. What do they know? Trust your heart and do your best. That's all any of us can do.
...............................
|
