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anonymous
writes: I have fallen in love with a married man. I am married too. I met him online 2 years ago and we have been emailing each other on a regular basis. There are no plans to meet, but I find myself thinking of him all the time. He says he loves me, but it's not like we are going to leave our families for each other. Should I stop communicating with this man? Part of me wants to stop but I love the way he makes me feel. Do online relationships work or do I have my head in the clouds?
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female
reader, lyndsey +, writes (1 November 2005):
I think something's missing in your relationship.If you still love your husband he's worth fighting for.You say this man loves you even though you have never met,i think your both living in a fantasy that's never going to come true.You think of each other as the perfect partners you both dream of, but it's never the same in reality,if this man did leave his family what does that say about him,do you want to be with someone who would destroy his family life for someone he,s never met.Talk to your husband tell him what you need from him, if that does'nt work get out in the real world and start having fun romance usually finds you when your not looking.
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (28 April 2005):
 Listen to the part of you that says "tone it down". By allowing your online guy to be the object of your affection, you're denying those feelings to your husband. You might not be aware of it yet, but it's happening. You'll find yourself staying up later and later, waiting for online-guy to logon, while your husband waits in bed for you. (You won't need to ask how I know this.)Any attention from an exciting stranger feels good, but it's best to accept that, even though it does, you have to resist it and stay focussed on the man who already loves you. It's the same as if some man in the supermarket sidled up to you and told you that you have beautiful eyes. You'd be flattered and a little stunned, but you wouldn't arrange to meet him again the next day.Stopping the communication is really going to be hard. It's like breaking up with someone you care about. However, it's too hard to spread your affections between two men. You've already said that you're not going to leave your family for him, so what future do you see with him?The realistic thing to do is to stop chatting and emailling so regularly. Wait a week between emails. And level with him, too. Tell him that you love the way the attraction makes you feel, but that there's no future in it and you don't want anyone to be hurt.You can still be friends with him if you work at it, but do try to put your husband back in First Place in your heart. He deserves at least that!
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2005): OK, here's the thing: online relationships are all about talking! That is one of the most important parts of a relationship: communication! But then you have to think about why you got married to your husband. He must be special to you also. Don't leave your husband for this guy because you will most likely regret it later. You must love your husband because you got married! That love is still there, just you have to dig down deeper to find more of it. I think you should stop communicating with this online guy before it gets to your head. He makes you feel good but that might be because your relationship with your husband is lacking something. Spice up your relationship with your man and lose the online guy...trust me...it's the best thing to do!Hope everything works out for you!
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