A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I was seeing this guy for a few months and it wasn't serious but i found out on the internet that he talks to other women and that he's a proper flirt.Anyway i ended it and told him that he was nothing more then a player.He's been emailing me,calling me,asking to see him again but iv been ignoring him.I was getting real keen on him but couldn't handle the women he was chatting to etc.Is it possible for a man like that to fall in love? He's in his mid 40's but im thinking that if he wasn't feeling anything for me he wouldn't try and contact me still...would he?What shall i do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (4 February 2007):
Hi, thanks for the response. Young, middle aged or old, men are very visual and always have an eye for a pretty woman. Now you know that he has been asking to meet other women I would certainly stop sleeping with him.
Now he knows you found out he's apologising and wants to stay with you (because he slept with you) and if he doesn't keep you "sweet" then he won't get his leg over any more. I'm sorry for being so blunt love but this guy isn't for you. He's in his 40's but has no intentions of settling down yet. He still wants to play the field, maybe even prove to HIMSELF that he can still pull.
I would keep some pride and get rid of him. Who knows what else he does when he's talking to these other women. He may even be camming with them and "doing things" or "showing things" and asking them to do the same. (Has he ever asked you to do that or shown you "his?") If that IS the case then I would run away from his as fast I could. You sound a lovely person and you deserve so much better. If you can't trust him now then you'll never be able to trust him in the future.
Eve
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe have had sex 3 times and we enjoy each other's company but i found out that he has been emailing other women to meet him.When i found out i told him its over and now he's been bombarding me with emails and calls.Why would a middle aged man want to chase anything in a skirt? He does like me but not enough to stay faithful though.
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (4 February 2007):
You have obviously made some kind of impact on him or he wouldn't bother contacting you again. Is this a long distance relationship? You say you have been "seeing" him... Have you met him before? Have you slept with him before?
If you do like him then I would remain friendly to him but don't talk sexually (that might be all he's interested in). Get to know him better. If he is genuinely interested in you as a person and isn't just in it for sex then he will be happy to remain friends with you to begin with. Let him know you're not happy at him flirting with all these other women though. If he's in his mid 40's and really smitten with you he wouldn't want to do that anyway, if he values you and wants to make a go of things with you.
Eve
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