A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi agonys after 7 years of mental cruelty by my son`s father i finally had the guts to tell him exactly how i felt. And what he really meant to me.In the past i held back my true feelings as i still loved him and had hope that he would change to be a warmer loving person. But he never did. He was as Cold as ice. he was and still is. over the years i gave him thousands of pounds in cash,clothes things for his home. Things that i'd bought and all i ever got in return was a child he denies thats his. A child whom he never provides for nor sees. Yes he gave me few teddies,1 pair gold earrings,1 chain the odd ten pounds, 4 bouquets of flowers.But never a simple thanks.This guy, my ex, was that cold. He never once came to see me or acknowledge the fact that i had been in hospital under the knife 5 times. Yet i stuck with him because i loved him and my heart forgived him. But not this time. I feel nothing as i write this only happiness as I will be attending the married of a relative, in 4 weeks, and i dont want my ex spoiling things, as its a know fact everything good in his life he turns it to shit he is blessed for a life of bad luck can this be true or do u make your own bad luck
View related questions:
flowers, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2011): 1. dont give if you know you will resent it. 2. you cannot invest in people,they are not stocks and shares. 3 if you hang around in hope they will change,then you shouldnt be with them period. 4. Dont be ungrateful. 5.Do not get jealous about the past when you are not faithful or any better. if you cannot put up then shut up. you are here wishing misfortune on someone,why? your assessment of him and his negative outlook is whats normal under the circumstances.He has left yes?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2011): It goes to show how easy it is to think you love some one and how easy it is to walk out right into another. At least you dont have to count divorce costs. Who ever did post this, I do wonder whether your just trying to convince yourself and the rest of the globe that he deserved it all.It is odd why he would convince you to take him back? He had seen how deep your love went, so all i can think is he must enjoy drama. Not my idea of bliss,but thank heavens we are all different.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2011): If you had the ability to put yourself in anothers situation,you will see he's had enough bad luck as it is. You can spend as much money as you want,but it doesnt give you any right to control and manage people whilst you do what you like without question. You are not a higher power to be able to change the do's and dont's to suite yourself and your impulses as you go along. You cannot hold anyone responsible for your own constant need for admiration,control and ridiculous expectations of them being a perfect partner. Very sorry about not being able to help you gang up on him. Why should he change? Will you?
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2011): LMAO @ i was a foolish woman to continue to be with a man whom had a big reputation for sleeping around and openly admitted that after the honeymoon period was over he just dumped women and ignored them,i did walk away once an started dating someone else. .....You may have heard the one about the pot calling the kettle? Is this serious or written to get peoples reactions? HARD WORK,better where he is.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2011): I cant see any other reason to compain other than pride. Your way of the world is slightly narcisstic or very unreal. Authority and control is not the root of a long happy union.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2011): Hi, I dont want to attack like some do,its more likely to upset or anger you,this wont make you face the problem. I am interested in some of the contradictions. Okay,in your life do you ever think about the wrong you did or is it only what you think has been inflicted on you? I do think that your version of it is that you have a tendency to over imagine and make something into how you choose. You have got to face it that you are far above your station and have got to see that they are just as important as you. Have you thought about how your ex has felt? I can not see that you care about that,its not hurting you so why think about it? You really have given your ex a bad time over what you think he may do to you. You did that to him and it hasnt even occured to you. I think the likely outcome is you wont care too much about what I say. Its not what you want to hear. He once had a womanising reputation,so to you he deserves it.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2011): What has his past reputation to do with today? Poster,do you believe you are untouchable? You walked out just like he did to others and you believe he should be punished. Is the choice of going back open to you? I think you may find history repeats no matter who you go to. You need to mature if you are 30. Your problem appeares like that of a child.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2011): you have a lot of growing up to do. your real problem is your belief that nothing else matters only you. you throw up nonsense about a reputation he had before you got with him yet feel no wrong in walking out to another man? repeat things he said,more confusing is that you believe you loved him? i think you are the ice cold one,you cannot even be trusted to say anything personal to. just what is your problem? are you are frightened now he is free to meet someone normal?
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2011): was sad to see the bad time you went through. He has a reputation,you got a man. He is cold as ice. Well having his own words spoke to you at his lowest ebb exploited, telling you his past which you also use against him, i think he just may be forgiven on that. You say cold,others may say avoiding danger. You cannot love if you want to control,pardon me i meant to say change. I can understand why he was that way,but i cant understand why you feel you are the victim. I expect you wont hear at this moment.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2011): looking back over the years i have been stupid and blind and not ashamed to admit i was a foolish woman to continue to be with a man whom had a big reputation for sleeping around and openly admitted that after the honeymoon period was over he just dumped women and ignored them,i did walk away once an started dating someone else but the ex contacted me and persuaded me that we had something special and said he had thought it through and i was what he wanted so i went back to him,i should have been stronger and said no,this time there is no going back as im better off financialy,emotionaly,physicaly and mentaly and it has begun to show,his own words are `everything i touch turns to shit` i think that sums it all up really
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2011): What you saw you got. No one forced you. Was it a physical thing at the start? As described,you dont like anything else about him. It is a mistake to believe you can change some one to what you want them to be. Maybe your relationship at first was sexual and you got more involved than you intended? You can at the very least be at rest with knowing he did not play you with false promises. I may be wrong,but I went through a situation I mentioned and it should have been ended once I developed emotional feelings.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2011): We all have winning and losing streaks. It all depends how we view whats happening to us at the time. You have nothing good to say about mr ex,so move on and what luck he has should not matter. He has probably got reasons for how he behaves,but bitterness will not help you,it will hold you back. If he spoils the wedding he will show everyone what a jerk he is,just don`t sit near him. In future,don`t give gifts with expectation. Give for kindness. Adding up what you spent shows there was a motive, or was a form of manipulation behind it,not kindness. If he lands on his feet,then say good luck,as it should not matter,you are going different directions now. If he is how you say he is then its likely to surface again until he acknowledges it and looks into it. It could be he needs someone who`s not there to judge and point out errors of his personality,but to accept who he is.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2011): why not let him get on with the life he wants without you? Forget wanting him to get bad luck just because he dont want you. It is you who is losing. Is it right to presume you are 100 per cent blameless? It didnt work so stop the hating.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2011): You make your own luck OP. You made your own bad luck by staying with him and he makes his by just being the way he is.
We all have control over our destinies OP. The only people that don't are children. Our lives are the culmination of our own choices, whether we're happy, sad or indifferent is all down to those choices and how we choose to deal with life. If you spend your life relying on good things to happen of their own accord you're just going to let life pass you by.
You are living proof that we make our own luck. For 7 years you did nothing but sit back, forgive and hope, did luck sort out your problems? No you did. When you made the decision to go, you made your life better. So for 7 years luck did nothing for you, only when you took control of the situation did things become better.
Forget about him and his life, if you're hoping that somehow karma is going to bite him on the ass. Well it already did because he lost you. Other than that forget about him and hope your child doesn't turn out the same way.
...............................
A
female
reader, elizabeth1986 +, writes (3 July 2011):
Hello,I really believe that you make your own luck!! The days I'm positive, happy and nice to people, I feel better in myself and tend to have better days.When I'm moody and storming about the house, I'll stub my toe, then get angrier at the furniture for stubbing my toe... but if I hadn't been stomping around in the first place, I probably wouldn't have done it in the 1st place.if somebody is cold and doesn't give out good feeling and good vibes, then they won't get it returned. if you scowl at somebody... do they smile back? Nope. If you smile at somebody, then they smile back.My mother is terribly negative and has had a life of bad luck and I swear I will not end up like that.I reckon you are best off out of it all, smile and be happy, you have your little boy and your ex can brood and be cold all by himself. he might meet somebody else along the line but until he lightens up and starts doing the decent thing by everyone, his life will always be the same and nobody will put up with him for long.At the wedding, turn up looking and feeling fabulous, act normal with him and say hello and then just go off and socialise and have a brilliant time. If he acts in any way to try and spoil things, just ignore him, feel sorry for him that his life is that sad that he needs to act like an arse and be happy in the knowledge that he can't hurt you anymore :) :)All the best and keep smiling :) xxxxxxx
...............................
|
