A
male
age
41-50,
*eep
writes:im 30yrs of age been in a 5yr relationship with a girl who means the world to me we lived togeather ive got a 6 yr old boy by a previous relationship which wasnt a problem to her she accepted him and was like a mum to him every thing been good with us then back in end of march/april time i started cheating on her and started taking things out on her why i dont know i made a big mistake and im really sorry she asked me a good few times about getting married then having children. Me like a fool said no i not getting married. Why i said this i dont know because deep down i wanted to anyway i was cheating on her and leaving her in the house on her own and not paying her any attenion etc she decides she had enough and goes. Then i get her back after 3 week then she cant take no more and goes again this happened 4 times but on the 3rd time back i took her away for 3 nights booked into a hotel but i only stayed 1 night i went shopping in morning bought my self some gear and said we going home. By this time id ended the affair i was having behind her back we get back home and every thing seems ok that night i gets takeaway and stay in also stayed in on sunday night was meant to go out for the bank holiday monday 4th may but it never happned. That night we had a disagreement she stayed on sofa me in the bed i woke up early and went 2 get to go to bed which she did but was very cold towards me and said she is going to leave so comes tuesday morning she up and packing her stuff i beggged her not to go but she insisted then made comments she might come back on weekends to see me. Any way she never and i couldnt contact her for 2 week when i did she was definately convinced she is not coming back and our relationship is over she did come back to get rest of her stuff with her mum so tried to talk to her but still couldnt do anything with her. She is now living in wiltshire working for some lady doing her horses and got a 2 bed room cottage. With job she shares the cottage with a 4o yr old woman who is having a split from her husband. Ive said to her i will never cheat on her again and want treat her the way i was and im more than willing to get married to her and settle and start a family she said it to late i had my chance. I feel ive tried everything to get her back i really dont want to let her go we been a great couple and every1 who knows said the same she been gone 2 month now is it to late to get her back ?she told me to move on and when i took a girl out not so long ago she e mailed to say that should remember she knows everything i do and that i hurt her before she and still does after she gone but same time she says she is never going to get back with me. She also changed her number because i lost it 1 day and swore at her on phone but she e mailed me since and that is the contact ive had off her for abot 3 week. Any help all i want is to get her back and settle down treat her correct and be happy what do you think i should do wwhat you think my chances of getting her back are
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2009): What have you done to put 'change' into motion? The only way to prove to her that you can change is to do things that show you can, your words mean nothing to her right now. Seek counseling, read self-help books, stop dating other women....DO something.
Personally, I don't think you deserve another chance, but you didn't ask our opinion on that. If you do nothing at all, nothing will change and she knows that. I feel sorry for her if you do succeed in getting her back!
A
female
reader, perla +, writes (5 July 2009):
i am in a similar situation although i didnt cheat on my ex just didnt treat him so well. I think she has given you the chances she could and finally doesnt want to be treated that way any more. She probably needs time to reassess the relationship you two had and maybe giving her space is the best thing you could do or you could push her away more. I know how hard that is but like me its always when you have lost them that you realise what you could do to change.. but would you if you had the chance ? I hope that this works out for you but maybe you need to think about yourself and what has driven you by doing this , finding out that maybe it will prevent you treating someone like this again. All the best x
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