A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i really need a friendly ear.i hate myself and i want to feel good about myself.7 years ago i split with my ex-im not a horrible person but he was too laid back for me he never really showed he cared, i would be like a mother to him and got little back. i met him through my workanyway we got engaged-got a house together and for the next two years this carried on. at the same time i became good friends with a male colleague at my work place-not like that but we shared the same interests, and i liked his company a lot. i felt guilty because i started thinking about him more than my fiance and questioned whether i had feelings for him, anyway eventually i left my fiance because i was sick of feeling like a spare part. i did end up dating my good friend-my ex found out and said i was carrying on with him all the time-which is definitely not true.anyway we shared some mutual friends at work and they were very sympathetic to me about the split and said i was better with this guy than my ex.my ex kept the house-to be honest i didnt have the energy to fight him for it and anyway the mortgage was in his name due to my low credit score so even though we made equal payments he kept it.the point im getting to is i have been with my current partner 5 years and it has been hell. he has left me financially destitute and is emotionally cold although i have sought debt management. my life feels awful-even when i had the debt my current ex told me it was my fault for getting into it.i saw an old work colleague the other day and she told me that all my old work colleagues are now friends with my first ex whos also got married this year.i just feel worthless. i feel i deserve all of this because of what has happened. she also said my first ex knew what has happened and had thought it funny because now hes married and has a new house whilst im now alone in a room at my sisters. im constantly in tears and feel a faliure im 34 and feel my life isnt going anywhere.why am i so rubbish ?
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at work, debt, engaged, fiance, my ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, manou  +, writes (6 July 2009):
 nnnnnnnnno you r not a rubbish dont you ever say that about your self ever again , all you need is a small push a lil hope to start all over new , so what all of us face low and up moments , i really dont know if you r still seeing that guy or not but if he has bad influence on you then dump him and if talking to your ex give you headaches then stop talking to him or try to avoid him until you will be in your better situations , when i red your question i thought you are a real good person because you left your fiance when u thought you were thinkin about somebody else you didnt play him and he should've thank you for that i mean both your ex and your current bf , your current bf doesnt seem to appreciate the fact that you left somebosy else for him so dump him you dont need him to feel good about your self
try to re build your self girl you ' r still young and working and got your familly around you , ditch the negative persons in your life that what you should start thinkin about and dont worry you wont be alone if you 'will do that
A
male
reader, Birillo +, writes (5 July 2009):
You're NOT rubbish!You've had a very rough time but you're still young and you have time to recover from this and make your life the way you want it. If it was me, I'd look at the things I can change the things I can't change - then start to think about how to change the things I have control over.Time helps. I had a not dissimilar kind of situation a few years back and it took me some time to get over it - and I came back into the world better and stronger than ever before.This may not be any use to you but anyway know that there's someone out here who thinks you're NOT rubbish.
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