A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone... I really need help...my gf had alot of past relationships...ond in one of them..she cheated on that guy..she only told me today..now i cant trust her..because i can never be sure that she wont cheat on me..its making me really sad im not lookin for people to say oh trust her again...because i really cant..she has no clue about how im feeling..any advice on how to deal with it...thank you sooo much All the best
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2007): tell her how you feel. if you can't trust her then the relationship will go no where. it will eventually lead to breaking up.. but she didn't cheat on you... did you ask her why she did it? if the answer, is that it just happened, then i suggest you get out of now...coz it may happen again!!!! but if she says, because her previous b.f. mistreated her and that she was at the end of her ropes, then you may still be able to make it work... but once the TRUST IS GONE... THEN THERE IS NOTHING ELSE.
A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (3 October 2007):
 So how was your past, make any mistakes? Were you always perfect in your relationships? Her past is her past and not the past you two shared. Now let me ask you this one. First I know how your feeling, repeating behaviors. You said she has no idea of how you're feeling? Do you think asking questions for advice is a breach of trust when you aren't talking to her about this?
The only way you're going to be able to deal, is to discuss your issue with her. Not in a harmful manner, you don't want to point fingers of accuse, let her know you have these fears of her doing it to you. I would also lay down your belief. If conversation comes up with someone I'm dating and cheating. It opens the opportunity to let them know. I care for myself so I have no tolerance for cheating. No matter how much I was in love with them, if they cheated I would have to end our relationship because I respect myself too much to remain with someone who does that.
She was honest with you and her past so do her the same favor and be honest with her and your concerns.
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A
female
reader, lmd  +, writes (3 October 2007):
I know exactly how your feeling. I just found out my BF cheated on me.
I think the main thing that you need to realise is that it's her past. People can and do change. And really it had absolutely nothing to do with you.
I'm sure there has to be something in your past that you have done that your not proud of..
If your crazy about this girl, and she shows remorse for her actions, then there is really no reason NOT to trust her. If your bother going to give her a chance, then the relationship is obviously not worth it.
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