A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i have being with my partner for 9 months. when we first got together we were so happy. he lost touch with his best friend and we had a great time. have being on holiday and generally enjoyed each others company. his best friend has now came back on the scene about 4 months ago. we used to see each other every day, however he promises to see me but then decides he's going out with his mate. his friend cheats on his girlfriend all the time and i find it really difficult to trust that my boyfriend won't cheat on me or keep letting me down to see his friend. we are now argueing constantly but still love each other. am i over reacting by not trusting him and requesting that we have set nights to see each other?
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (12 February 2008):
 It could be a prank,joke or character assasinations. You should not read too much in those posts.You need to filter those messages.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthankyou all so very much for your reply.
i have difficulties with trust.
one thing i didnt mention is that i found a message on his myspace from another girl in october claiming that she may be pregnant with his child (this obviously wasnt the case).
however we were together in october and this would mean that he has being playing around with another girl.
i confronted him where he denied everything and claims that he has never met the girl. my gut instinct is telling me to believe him however i cant help wondering why someone would post such a serious message when he is claiming he doesnt know her?
please help x
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (11 February 2008):
 Hi
Set nights could be a bit regimental. But i dont see anything wrong with people going out with their mates even a couple of times a week. Especially at your age. Get to my age and that all gets a bit tedious anyway and you would rather stay in and watch Eastenders with your other half haha! (well lots of us would anyway)
As for his mate, well, i wouldnt say just because he is a playa, that your guy will be. My bro was best mates with my guy, and my bro is the biggest playa on the planet! Admits to that too. Hasnt been failthful to anyone he's been with, even got off with 2 of my mates whilst with someone recently. I love him to bits but where women are concerned hes a nigggggggggggghtmare! But i dont believe for a minute my guy would do the same thing. Hes aware my bro is obsessed with women, but can laugh it off.
I wouldnt worry too much unless there is any evidence of shady things going on.
C xxxxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2008): If people want to cheat then there is nothing that we can do to stop them, no way. I think you have to let him have some time with his friend, but have some limits and dont let it overrule what you want to do with your bf too much. Dont try to stop it altogether or he will resent you for it, and beside it is good to have friends and you shouldnt lose touch with them, but there are limits. How about if he saw him for a couple of night and you see him for the rest, or a third of the weekend and you have 2/3 of it to yourself. Dont be afraid to say just what you want, it is your life too and boy it is too short to waste.
take care
xx
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (11 February 2008):
His friend may have cheated but it does not mean that he will do like his friend. They can still be friends .The men don't go into each other's private affairs.If he wanted to cheat, he could have cheated anytime. You need to give him some space with his own time.This way , you can last longer and more happier. You don't have to see each other everyday. Too much of one thing can be detrimental to your interest.
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