A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Im a 32 yr old who has been screwed over by every man ive ever been with..when me and my husband now got together i accussed him so much,but he would always say he would show he was different.Well oct.of 08 i found out he was txt a girl from a bank where he cashed his check..we worked thru it and i never thought he would do it again..well march 25 i found out he had a 6 month verbal relationship with a married woman..no they never had sex but he wanted to and she wouldnt...i want to make my marriage work..we were going thru alot at the time thats not a excuse...but i do love him..is it possible to trust again?
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2010): I think you may be insecure and have some unresolved issues and drama due to past failed relationships. You shouldn't be dating let alone in a relationship if you are unhealthy mentally and emotionally, which is appears as though you are. When you get involved in a relationship or you start dating when you are not a healthy individual on all scales, there is bound to be doubts, insecurities, a lack of trust and so forth and so on. And it doesn't make it any better when one or both parties act on those accusations or insecurities either. I think you need therapy and it wouldn't hurt if your boyfriend tagged along with you because, he has issues as well.
A
male
reader, Euphoricpoison +, writes (2 May 2010):
were all human, we make mistakes and sometimes we let our animal instincts take over. No ones perfect, if you think you can work it out, do it. But if you think you're gonna stay on the poor guys ass, nagging him and acusing him, its better u just start over
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A
female
reader, SoftlyCaress  +, writes (2 May 2010):
 You will always find it hard to trust him if that is what he has done but if you really want to save your marriage try counseling and it will have to be couple counseling .Im not sure that will even help because a man can say all the things he thinks we want to hear and still not be truthful about things I hope in your case since you love him so much that he will be Good Luck xo
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A
female
reader, SeaCalm +, writes (2 May 2010):
Hi
There are quite a few clues as to what may be going on with you here, you say you've been screwed over by every man you've met, and also accused your husband, now you think you have what is 'evidence' of cheating which feeds right into your accusations and how you've been treated in the past
If you want to make your marriage work I think it may be a good idea to get to the bottom of what's going on with you, in order to be effective in a relationship you need to have a handle on what your issues are,, i.e. self esteem, why you've been treated badly in the past etc, if these aren't tackled , your relationship tends to suffer, this is where blame etc comes in,
If your husband wants to make the relationship work he may agree for the both of you to see someone who may be able to help you through some of your problems
Either way it may be a good idea for the both of you to sit down and talk calmly about how you both feel at this stage and take it from there
Good Luck
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (1 May 2010):
I think it's pretty hard to trust someone who can't be trusted...I think you really need to consider marriage counseling if you want your marriage to work.
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