A
female
age
30-35,
*oCal_Princess951
writes:My "boyfriend" has a drinking problem is the bottom line. The thing is, he only realizes he has a drinking problem and how much it effects our relationship when he's completely wasted. When he's sober and you try to bring it up to him he gets completely pissed off and won't talk to me until later that night when he starts drinking. I wrote him a note the other day about how much I care for him, and his drinking really scares me, and he took the note the wrong way, and now we're not talking; He deleted me from Facebook as well as blocked me from texting and calling him, and so that's why boyfriend is in quotes. It's not just me that sees he has a drinking problem, our mutual best friend sees it as well. How can I bring up the drinking problem to my "boyfriend" without him getting so mad? Or is it one of those things where I have to wait until he realizes when he's sober he has a drinking problem and then comes to me for help? and and Do you think he'll actually start talking to me again, or do you think it's really over?
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female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (9 July 2011):
 I have not dealt with an alcoholic personally but if I were in your shoes I would issue an ultimation. Drink or me baby, and if he choses drink, take a deep breath summon your courage and walk out. It may be enough to shock him into doing something about it. And if not then you are better off without him realtionships are hard enough work without something insidious like drink lurking in the background. You deserve more!!!
A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (9 July 2011):
 After years of living with an alcoholic, I can tell you that drinkers/alcoholics get very protective and defensive when you try to talk to them about it. In their eyes, they don't think that they have a problem. They will make up all kinds of excuses/lies/stories to defend themselves. You can try to help them, but unless they acknowledge that they want help, your words more than likely will fall on deaf ears. I'm sorry, I wish I could give you more encouragement, but it really is up to them. All the pleading, begging, crying, or threats do not matter to them. If you try to get inbetween them and the alcohol, you are the enemy.
It sounds like that is what your boyfriend has done. At the moment, you are the enemy. He may cool down when he sobers up, but I wouldn't hold out alot of hope on that. All you can do is try. I wish you the best, and remember, he is choosing the alcohol, you didn't do anything wrong.
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