A
female
age
30-35,
*sears1989
writes:To get a restraining order against a grandparent do you have to get both parents to agree to it or can I still get one without my partners consent? Cause his mother is to over bearing. She comes over without permission and takes our son without us saying she can then she kept him for 2 days without us saying ok. She also is saying she's going to take him away from us if the house isn't clean and he's sitting in a dirty diaper again but the house wasn't that dirty. I clean it and my son wasn't sitting in a dirty diaper he just pooped and I was about to change it when she came and took him. She's also saying me and my husband are bad parents but were not. We love him to death. I'd just die without my son. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (26 May 2010):
 I can't see any way that would work if your husband isn't on the same page as you. If you did manage to get the restraining order without his agreement, it could undermine your marriage.
A better approach is to explain to your husband how desperate his mother's actions are making you. He needs to stand up to her.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2010): Don't answer the door to her; or if she has a key, change the locks. Agree with Caring Guy, maybe get some legal advice. I notice you're in the US - in the UK you can get half an hour with a solicitor for free, I don't know if there's anything like that you could do.
Maybe she automatically assumes you aren't going to cope because of your age, 18-21 is quite a youngish mom. In which case you and your husband are going to have to categorically tell her to back off - you're the parents, therefore you do the parenting. She's had her go at being the mommy already. And I doubt she was 100% perfect at it, no parents are. Just because you may not be doing things how she did them, doesn't mean you're doing them the "wrong" way.
Is it jealousy maybe, seeing your baby makes her want to do the mommy thing all over again, but since she can't she's fooling herself that you're "bad" parents so she can take the child? Get down to the reasons and give her warning that if she pushes too hard you are going to have to take legal advice against her threats.
Taking him for 2 days without your say so isn't right; I wouldn't have let her either. Next time she tries to pull that tell her no. And if she manages to take him, call the police then go after her. She is the grandmother, but she can't just barge into your house, pick up the child and take him away! You say she came and took him when you were about to change his diaper? Next time, you hang onto him and call the cops if she tries taking him from you.
So, try and speak to her about the problem, but if it makes things worse then you need to get serious fast. She could start making accusations against you to try and get your son with her.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (26 May 2010):
I would guess that you'd need to speak to a lawyer about it to be honest, to be sure about where you stand.
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