A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I need some advice to feel better and see hope for the future. I've only had two relationships and both lasted about 6-8 months each. Both of the guys were so nice and caring when we were dating - literally, they would have done anything for me, and I thought that I was a really great girlfriend as well. Then both of them grew really distant really quickly and shut down, and essentially broke up with me, and after that, became real jerks. The first ex refuse to talk to me for about two years after the breakup. I had sent him an email a few months back asking him a very specific question, and he responded to it, although with a very annoyed tone. The second ex, has contacted me with the most random nonsense ever periodically and just drops them in the middle. Basically he's a jerk. I feel so hopeless now because I'm almost 27 and these are the only two relationships I've ever had, both of the guys ended up being so cold and uncaring, and I feel like everyone's ex turns around and becomes nice at some point (if only to be friends) except for mine. All I want is a committed, loving relationship where the guy doesn't flake after being so loving for stupid reasons. But I'm afraid now that I'll never find one... :(
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female
reader, Lovebug32 +, writes (4 June 2010):
I know it hurts... but you have to believe that there is true love out there. You can't give up. Trust me, I know what it's like to hurt. I'm 32 and recently split from my 2 year live-in boyfriend. We did EVERYTHING together & I thought he was "the one." I know that people say that doesn't exist, but I think it can. He was my best friend in the world. Anyway, he has basically done the same... loved me one minute, not the next. We had a stupid fight and I came home and all his stuff was gone. I was and still am devastated. I loved him more than I have ever loved anyone. He said he couldn't stand to spend a day away from me and now he wants to spend forever away from me? I just don't get that. I never thought that I would be 32 and single. I have watched every single one of my friends get engaged and married. Anyway, don't worry, we are both still young and there is time... but I feel your pain. It does suck to get closer and closer to 30 and think that you will be single forever or that things will always be the same... it's human nature to think that.. I think everyone probably feels that way when going thru a break-up.. but I'm sure I will find someone and you will too and you will look back and think, wow.. I am so glad that I didn't settle for someone who only loved me a little bit when now I have someone who loves me a lot and is not a jerk who can love you one minute and be cold and awful the next. Good luck to you!
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (3 June 2010):
 My first two serious relationships went in a somewhat like direction. They loved me, then loved me not, then loved me, then loved me not... I don't talk to them. In fact I am not friends with any ex'es. For some this is possible, for others it is not. But, what you need is a guy who is consistent I sense. Someone who will not doubt his love or have a change of heart over night (or over silly reasons). Someone with more stability? You will find that. It is hard to spot who it will be, but don't give up hope, there are men like that out there.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (2 June 2010):
Well we've established that the problem seems to be the type of male you fancy. You'll find the right guy, it'll just take time. You need to look at what it is that first attracts you to a man, because twice you've found the same type.
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