A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been seeing a co-worker for a couple of weeks now. We travel for work, and most of these past two weeks we have been at hotels and hanging out/hooking up there. Tonight is our first "date", I guess, in the city we live. I had asked her to grab some drinks and she said she didn't want to drink and suggested dinner instead. What do you all make of this? She suggested more of a formal get-together so is that a good sign? I'm trying to figure it out. Also, on the phone last night as we tried to figure out the plan I sensed some hesitation on her part on seeing me at all. People at work are starting to talk and she said that her job is more important than anything right now. She didn't sound as excited as I am to see her. Do I try to convince her that seeing each other is okay and won't give her a bad reputation? Or do I just let it die? I really like this girl and am trying to figure out the right balance as our relationship is so so new. Thanks for your help
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male
reader, TimmD +, writes (3 June 2010):
 Glad it all worked out for you. Try to keep any doubts out of your mind. Just enjoy yourself and remember... no pressure.
Good luck. :-)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks again for the advice. she did eventually text me back and confirmed the time/etc. don't know why it took her so long but it's all good. we had an amazing night!
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A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (3 June 2010):
If that's your normal form of communication than I'd say let it go. Too much will seem like you are smothering her. She knows you have a date so if she "forgets" or is busy, that's on her.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the response. sounds like good advice.
she's confusing me even more now, though.
i texted her this afternoon to confirm the time and plan for tonight. it's been an hour and forty minutes and she still hasn't responded.
what should i do? let it be or text her again to see what's up?
thanks
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A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (2 June 2010):
It sounds like she's interested in you but she is just cautious because of her job. Now, as for switching drinks to dinner, I'd say that is a good sign. It hopefully means she wants it to be more of a date then just hanging out together.
If you like her, then continue pursuing her. Don't look into anything further then you need to. If she was hesitant, it doesn't mean she doesn't like you. If she didn't like you, she wouldn't be hanging out with you and going on a date with you. Just go out to dinner with her, but let her know you two don't have to rush things. Tell her you really like spending time with her and having her in your life. Make sure she knows that you understand how important her job is to her and that you don't want to jeopardize it. Your relationship is nobody's business except your own, so tell her there's no reason to advertise it or make a big deal about it at work. But again, if you like her than don't just give up.
Showing her how understanding you are and how much you care about her will put her mind at ease if she's nervous. Just remember to not pressure her.
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