A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I wanted to write this to see if anyone has had any success in dealing with this or if there is no hope for me to resolve my issues. I have been in therapy and with medication since I was young I'm 31 now. I was diagnosed with OCD at 12. The last two years my OCD and paranoia have gone out of control. I can't stop rethinking everything I say in a conversation - I can't stop checking. In meetings at work I get oranoid if I say something bad so much that I can't articulate calmly. When I used to be in a relationship and my partner gives me his phone to check the news I get paranoid "what if I checked his phone and saw something" my life has become a life of assumptions and what ifs. I feel like I live in another world in my head - I always fantasize about the future or people giving me attention in my head- is this normal? In my real life I'm dealing with my sisters illness and a breakup( the man treated me really bad) and I love my sister so much. I've poured myself to work 60+ hours but the paranoia had made normal interactions worse. It's caused me to slide into a deep depression where I just sit alone - I've tried going out to socialize but I don't have any friends please let me know if I can ever recover
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male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (14 November 2016):
I see this as major insecurities.
"I always fantasize about the future or people giving me attention in my head"
Why do you need attention? To the point of fantasising about it?
"what if I checked his phone and saw something"
You seem to be very insecure about what everyone things of you, that you have made yourself paranoid not to say anything to offend anyone. So what if you say something wrong...everyone in the world has...and most likely...every day they do.
You can be the sweetest person in the world, and people will still hate you...just for being sweet. So why worry about what people think? As long as you live your life right, what other people say or do, should have no affect on you.
Can you live one hour longer by worrying about it? Can you stop the sun from shining by being paranoid about it? Has worrying about your sister made her better? So you see... worrying has no purpose in life. It makes you old before your time. Gives you a sad face, and makes you depressed.
Love yourself, because there is no one else like you. The less you worry, happiness will come. The happier you are, the more people will want to be in your life. Being happy will also improve your sister's mood.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (14 November 2016):
 You might want to consider some CBT therapy again. Like a refresher course. There is a BIG difference how a 12-year-old deal with things and how a woman of 31 does.
Secondly, I think it's :normal" for people with OCD to go into a sort of overdrive when stressed. I know when I have periods of stress the rituals gets more pronounced and I HAVE to work harder to stay in control.
And having a fantasy life you occasionally escape to? EVERYONE does that. Yours might be because you feel overwhelmed and lonely. While I do think work can help people stress less (because they keep their mind occupied - maybe you need to find a way to blow off steam too. Like a gym, working out, Yoga (works wonders) - something where you can switch off a little bit as well. But first and foremost I think seeing a therapist who specialize in CBT and OCD would be a good start.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (14 November 2016):
You might want to consider some CBT therapy again. Like a refresher course. There is a BIG difference how a 12-year-old deal with things and how a woman of 31 does.
Secondly, I think it's :normal" for people with OCD to go into a sort of overdrive when stressed. I know when I have periods of stress the rituals gets more pronounced and I HAVE to work harder to stay in control.
And having a fantasy life you occasionally escape to? EVERYONE does that. Yours might be because you feel overwhelmed and lonely. While I do think work can help people stress less (because they keep their mind occupied - maybe you need to find a way to blow off steam too. Like a gym, working out, Yoga (works wonders) - something where you can switch off a little bit as well. But first and foremost I think seeing a therapist who specialize in CBT and OCD would be a good start.
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A
female
reader, Betty Blue Eyes  +, writes (14 November 2016):
 I think you need to get the doctor to reassess your medication and see where the therapy is going wrong as it doesn't seem to be working.We could all say you just need to stop thinking these things, what's the worst that could happen, you are being silly but obviously that's not going to help you at all.If you have a diagnosed illness your brain is making you think things that aren't in your control. It's not like you want to be like this you need to look at your medication. If you had some kind of physical illness would you tell yourself off thinking it's all your fault? No, so a mental illness isn't your fault either.Besides this I used to worry so much, get embarrassed easily, have intrusive thoughts because I was going through a hard time. To calm myself down I started doing yoga, it seriously helps you relax. It also makes you fitter, helps your posture which just makes you feel better about yourself anyway.Do you eat healthily and look after yourself or are there things you need to cut back on such as alcohol or cigarettes? Maybe you could try and concentrate on things you know you have the power to change such as stopping bad habits. Try and concentrate on positive things or something that is within your control. At the moment you are focusing on your thoughts and yourself, could you maybe try to find out if your family need help with anything? Rather than worrying about your sisters illness be proactive and think of ways to help her out. I'm sure you already do but think of positive ways to make her feel better. Put all of your energy into helping somebody else with something rather than dwelling on what you need help with. I'm not at all suggesting that you are selfish for focusing on you, you just need to focus your thoughts elsewhere. You are using up so much energy trying to tell yourself to stop thinking the way you do that it's all you end up thinking about. Working can take your mind off things but working 60 hours is over the top and will wear you out and make you feel tired.But the doctor would be the best person to talk to.
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