A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I met my boyfriend on holiday almost 1 year ago. He lives about 300 miles form me so we only really see each other for a weekend once a month. He comes to see me mostly and I have went to his twice (he is 20 and I am 18). We have spoken every day since we met and at the beginning I really did love him. I thought we had so much in common and we had fun. But for the last few months I have not felt the same and I know that we have to end things. The only problem is I know that he really loves me and I don't know how to do this without hurting him, all I know is that I don't want a relationship right now, it isn't anything he has done it's just me. I think he knows there is something wrong though because he can tell by the way I am on the phone and is always talking about how he doesn't want to lose me.Anyways my main question is...It's his birthday in just over a week and he wants me to go to see him for a weekend for it and I am in two minds. If I don't go it will hurt him a lot as he really wants me to come for his birthday. But on the other hand if I go I am continuing the lies and making him have false hope. Should I break up with him now or after his birthday??Any opinions will help :-)
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female
reader, largentsgirl89  +, writes (14 May 2013):
 Well he is either going to cry a lot on his birthday or be happy that you broke up with him before his birthday so he doesn't have one more memory with you.
Was your birthday recent? Did he make you feel special? I would sit down and talk to him. Tell him what you told us on here and see how he takes it.
I personally would spend his birthday with him as his friend and then move on after that. Cease all contact with him.
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (13 May 2013):
Breaking up with someone will often hurt them, the only thing you can do about it is to be gentle and respectful of their feelings (assuming they've been respectful of yours).
I'd break up with him now. Tell him you'd really like to be there on his birthday as a friend, but it wouldn't be right so close after breaking up.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (13 May 2013):
 Break up now... don't drag it out.
and yes he will be upset and feel blindsided and hurt and he may cry and beg... just tell him the truth... that you care about him but not the way he wants/needs you to.
and that you are sorry to hurt him but it's over
and then go NO CONTACT.... do not call him. do not text him, do not email him... unfriend and block him on social media. It's just EASIER for both of you.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (13 May 2013):
 Break up with him now. The sooner he can start the moving on process, the better. You're just faking it now, that's not fair to him or to you.
Don't let his reaction be the emotional blackmail that keeps you stuck in a relationship you have no interest in maintaining.
He will have to figure out how to get over it himself. Lots of people get dumped, they survive. He will hurt for a little while, there's no way around that, but it's better he hurts now than weeks from now or even a year from now.
Let us know how it goes!
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