A
female
age
,
*y-or long distance love
writes:What are your opinions on a relationship that is 90% texting, phone calls maybe every other day or so and mostly booty calls. The guy is telling the woman he loves her, but he is telling his really close friends that "Hell No I Do Not Want To Spend 24/7 With Her!!!" Is this a healthy good, long term relationship or is it one that will fade into the past pretty quickly.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (14 May 2013):
 Well since it’s not your relationship, I’m not sure why you are concerned. You say as far as you know they might go out once in a while. So it’s not even a close friend then? What is so concerning to you about this relationship? Some folks are very content to just hang out together. In addition, you are saying what you THINK is going on rather than what is really going on and since it’s not your relationship, there is really nothing you can say, or do and there is no need for you to be involved. What works for some folks may not work for you but that’s NOT your problem or concern.
I work a standard work schedule. I leave my house around 7:15 a.m. (usually after my husband and sometimes we don’t see each other in the mornings at all). He returns at 4:30 most nights and goes to take a LONG nap. I get home around 6 or so most nights and if he is sleeping I do not wake him. Last night he got up just about 15 minutes before I went to bed. I see my co-workers more than my spouse most weeks. And my husband is a jerk. And yet, it works for us. I’m sure you would be questioning our marriage as well since we rarely have time to do things during the week and on weekends he likes to sleep so we don’t do much then either.
What they have is working for them now. And as long as it works for them, that’s all that matters. Trust me; I know that NONE of my friends would tolerate my husband or his behavior but none of them have the audacity to question if our relationship will work. It’s none of their business. And yet every one of them knows if it falls apart, even if it’s my choice I will need support and they will be there. THAT’S what friends do, they don’t judge it in the here and now but rather they support and nurture as needed.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2013): Texting relationship is only going to be good if you know you can stimulate your boyfriend to come home early and get ready to perform his bedroom duties. Texting should only be used to re affirm a relationship that is solid already. Remember tongues are always loose when they text but when they come face to face they are going to be telling you a different story. You decide. Are you happy? Don't sound like it. So you just better do something about it then.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2013): It is not a relationship I am in, it is a friend of mine. As far as I know they might go out once in a blue moon, but he works 4 or 5 days a week on the swing shift and always on the weekends. He goes into work at 1:30 in the afternoon and does not get off until almost midnight. That does not leave much time to do much of anything else.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (13 May 2013):
It's NOT My relationship ideal.
I want a man I can call, email and spend time with not in the sack. I want to go to movies, and out to dinner and watch tv on the couch.
I don't care if a man SAYS he loves me as long as I FEEL loved...
Is it a healthy relationship? Probably not if you are asking us if we think it is. Clearly you sense something is wrong somewhere....
is it long term? define long term... if it's mostly booty calls, it will last till the one doing the booty calling finds someone they want to spend 24/7 with. That could be weeks months or years....
will you be happy and healthy with this relationship the way it is? if so then it's fine. IF YOU ARE NOT HAPPY then it's not healthy.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (13 May 2013):
 Other than phone calls and sex, do you guys do anything else together?
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (13 May 2013):
It sounds like a rhetorical question to me. It's healthy if that's what you want.
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