A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello,If I could just ask the females if they think having too much drive and ambtion is major turn-off, that would be great! I recently dated about 2 women in the space of 2 months, but it didnt work out! I think is becuase I have grand plans for what i want to achieve in my life and where i ideally would like to relocate (NZ, a long way from home!) and i've already started prepering my case for application, altho it wont happen for about 3 years! I also have maybe a little too much drive! I dead keen on squeezing everything out of my employer (uni courses ect...) and am constanly looking for opertunities to improve my stance within my industry, these are a couple of exapmles! Can too much be a turn-off?
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2009): I really admire you for being so driven and focused at such a young age. I'm envious actually. I never really figured out what I wanted to do.
I don't know much about women but ironically, I think many would be very attracted to a guy like you and find it an enourmous turn on... initially. But then when they realise that such a driven person might not make a very good companion (I'm not saying you're not, I'm just saying), and doesn't give them the time and attention that they desire then they make think twice.
And I wonder if the fact that you're leaving the country in three years would put them off also. Don't women like to make long term plans with regards to relationships?
Maybe you're just in a point in your life where a serious relationship just isn't practical.
A
male
reader, duce00  +, writes (9 November 2009):
 I rather doubt that you will be able to put in the effort required by most women for a quality relationship and that is OK as long as you don't fool them about it.
It is a really good thing to use this time in your life to make great accomplishments. In the struggle to make your mark on the world some things must be sacrificed though.
Make sure that integrity is a part of all your ambitions and you will be more successful than the multitude of men who were short sighted in they're youthful exuberance.
CARPE DIEM!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2009): Ambition can be a turn-off to women. They start to picture themselves sitting at home all alone while their husband/boyfriend is out working non-stop.
In your case, you have a very clear picture of what you want to do with your life. That's good for you, but the women you're dating may not see themselves fitting into that commitment. Most women are going to have a difficult time starting a relationship with a guy who is moving to New Zealand, for instance. Will you dump them? Would you want to do a long distance relationship? Do you want them to come along? If you do, what about their family and friends that they're leaving behind.
Maybe you need to get where you're going in life first and then find a woman who fits into that lifestyle, instead of trying to find the woman first and then make them accept the life you have so clearly mapped out.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (9 November 2009):
It really does depend on the woman. Because that is something I would find highly attractive in a man, but that's because I'm very similar in that aspect. I've had guys turned off from all that I want to do because they are "comfortable" with what they have and where they're at...while I want to do this and that, travel, and live in different places. It's about finding a woman with the same goals or is itnerested in something like that.
I also agree though, if you're more into your work than you are into the woman, they may not want to put up with that.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (9 November 2009):
I agree with satindesire. It might be that they think you're so into your work and future, that you're not into them. It's good to have plans, so din't give them up, but remember that a woman will want to be your priority, so make her it.
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