A
female
age
30-35,
*onfusedbutdeeplyinlove
writes:Ok my question is what do you do if you have this guy that treats you really great but he don't believe in god and that's really important to you and that he don't have a car or cell phone or job but he lives at home and he's going to be going to college soon. What do I do? I really like him he's really sweet but the not beliving in God is a big issue to me. I've already broken up with him before over this and I don't wanna break his heart again.
View related questions:
lives at home Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2008): I'd like to add one more, probably unappreciated belief I have on this.
I believe there is a God. Sometimes, I wonder about it.
In the past, when someone asks a religious question, I become nervous because I know our words, word for word will be slightly different, and this will cause an argument. People have a tendency to be thick headed and unwavering in there perceived righteousness.
There are something I believe in, some things I don't, and somethings I just haven't felt that I don't have an answer for. But those who have practice will judge and curse you if you haven't.
It is quite possible that your boyfriend does believe in God, but because of the way you carry on, he is tired of it and says something to stop it, like "I don't believe in God". I do this with my wife, she thinks she knows a lot about religion. She was a Catholic, she converted to a Christian. I get tired of speaking about religion, because it always turns into a fight. I have read the bible and I've interpreted it, based on who I am as an individual. It maybe a different interpretation that the pastor has given, and a different interpretation that she has gotten from her pastor, and it might be possible that my interpretation maybe closer to her pastor ... who knows, is it that critical?
You ask "he don't believe in god and that's really important to you and that he don't have a car or cell phone or job but he lives at home and he's going to be going to college soon. What do I do?" ... you know how shallow that sounds? Maybe he should be asking "if she is so religious, how on God's earth will she love me for who I am and not some shallow belief she has (or something like that)? Will she always put God before me when I need her most?
Some of us hear the air headed remarks from some religious people: "guess what God made me do today". He had nothing to do with it, you did it yourself. This is what your sounding like.
Okay. I'm done with me rant and I'll leave. Hopefully you won't judge me to harshly, for it is what I feel, right or wrong, it just is where I am at in life, and no pressuring from others will change that, just build walls if you persist!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2008): "Wars and persecutions have been carried out in the name of God, but by evil or simply ignorant people."
That would include priest, clergyman, pope etc., ignorance also includes not knowing history.
You never know what you have unless you journey pass the outer package. The politically correct crowd are superficial. Judging people because they don't believe the same things you do is part of that ignorance, and shows you were only a follower of a church's preachings, and not taking upon yourself to study on your own. Most church goers are followers, and believe most of what is told them by leaders of churches. Churches refuse to learn the truth, will not accept they are wrong and continue to teach their wrong ideolgy. You must always question when your instincts tell you to, but if you've already been brained wash with lies, then you will not see the light ... not to say we still have it right, but at least we realize that we still may have it wrong.
...............................
A
female
reader, Susan Strict  +, writes (21 April 2008):
 It won't stop him being good to you, but will it stop you being good to him?
Sure, he may find God as many of us have, but that's by no means certain. He is far more likely to find God if he can see how much God means to you, but if you keep pushing and pushing then you are far more likely to simply drive him further away from God... and from you.
If you love him and you can accept that if he is going to find God then it will be in his own time and in his own way (and he may never get there), then go for it. If not, then let him go.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2008): There is a saying "religion is the root of all evil".
Remember witches? People were put to death because they were believed to be witches, I recall catholics were good at this.
Many of the early wars were orchestrated by religious nuts: the catholics, chritians and islam.
Look what has happened in the last few years in the USA and catholics: children molested, and the churches tried to cover it up, and only slap the offenders hand.
People go to church and listen to propaganda ... information design to control your thoughts, to get your money so they can build an empire. There are a few good churches that are really people and life oriented.
Religion has always been about controlling the masses.
Free sex ran rampent during the Greece days, around 100AD. Then came religion to stampout what was natural to humans: sex!
What it sounds like your doing to your boyfriend is playing mind games, and like the church, trying to control him; this will have an ill impact on him eventually, and it sounds like your so full of your religion, that you know nothing of him. If true, then this is typical of religion; religion does not go to the heart to reveal the true person the God and Jesus tried to express to us.
Look at our presidential candidate, Barack Obama, listen to him and his wife closely ... they've been brained washed by teachings of Reverned Wright. The stupidity of people to follow such people, and know this reverend will sit on a piece of property (his retirement) worth up to 20 million dollars! If you wish to play these games with your boyfriend, and your the one that has the problem, you will turn him into exactly what you think non-religious people are. But this to is a witch hunt, and you are phoney!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2008): I'm sure everyone is familar with the actor Charleston Heston and the movie 10 commandments. I saw it when I was young, and it made a big impression on me.
I refuse to attend church, and my wife has tried in the beginning without any luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (21 April 2008):
 If he is not ready yet, you should save your breath because nothing will enter his head.
When he starts asking questions and want to know more, then he is ready to accept what you will say.
Your exemplary Christian behaviour will influence him.
By your actions , they will know that you are a Christian.
Provided that you are a good Christian and not just in name only.
Do everything in love and not by force or compulsion.
...............................
A
female
reader, confusedbutdeeplyinlove +, writes (21 April 2008):
confusedbutdeeplyinlove is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm christian and how would I stimulate him to maybe be a bit more interested in religion? He is a really great guy he treats me how I want to be treated.
...............................
A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (21 April 2008):
People who believed that there is no God in this world does
not mean that they do not know anything about God or the 10 Commandments.
It is just that they cannot accept the truth for now.
They think it is a lie .
We have to respect their stand.
Their time is not ripe yet.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2008): I'm a christian, but my long term boyfriend isn't. It does bother me a bit I guess, but I have so many other reasons to love him. I know God wants me to be with him. But maybe if there's any christian gigs or light-hearted events in your area, you could take him to those? I don't know if you have christian bands like YFriday and Band With No Name in America, but over here they do some great gigs. Not forcing religion on you either, casual but good to go to. Maybe bring him to one of those, if there are any. But remember, you've got to respect whatever beliefs he has, so don't pressurize him.
...............................
A
female
reader, confusedbutdeeplyinlove +, writes (21 April 2008):
confusedbutdeeplyinlove is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk thanks for the responses. I'm not shallow. And he doesn't read the bible either so I doubt he knows the 10 comandments. Ill give him a fair chance.
...............................
A
female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (21 April 2008):
 You should love him for who he is. Can he still treat you well if he doesn't believe in God...? Seriously? Yes, he can. Believing in God does not make you treat someone better. You should not judge him on his beliefs. If it is such an issue then you should not be with him, cause to love someone is accepting them for exactly what they are and loving them more because it's what makes them who they are. It's kind of sad to me that you would lose a great guy over something like this, I'm not saying who is right or wrong religious beliefs-wise, but to dump him because he doesn't believe what you do? If he is a great guy and you love him that is all that should matter, not whether or not he has a job or car, that is just getting shallow. Girls need to realize how lucky they are to have a sweet guy who treats them right. I'd rather have a great, sweet guy with not much money who cares about me than a guy with loads of money who believes in God but treats me like crap (plenty of them out there). That's just me though.
...............................
A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (21 April 2008):
You should respect his beliefs.
What good if he believed in God but does not follow the tenets of the religion ?
Who would you choose,a person who does not believe in the
existence of God but is good or a person who believes in God but is bad?
You should not force him to change his belief.
In time , he may through you , change his perspective.
If you insist that he must believe in the existence of God, then you will lose him for good.
If you think he can make a great friend, then you need to
accept him as he is, though you have opposing views .
You must show God's love for him , even if he does not believe in God.
If you do not show God's love for him , how would he know that there is a God?
If you cannot be friends with those who do not believe in
God, then how are they to know what God is like ?
It is all talk and no actions.
Faith without works is dead.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2008): There isn't much of a difference between a guy who believes or not believes in the words "I believe in God".
What matters, is wheter or not he believes in the same principles as you, right and wrongs, the ten commandments.
In the bible, Jesus speaks of the old and new testiment. I believe, he is refering to us to be in the new era, so we must not judge to harshly, be more compassionate towards one an other.
This is a moment in your life to grow, and not to be what religions have done for thousands of years: cause wars!
Your boyfriend is a human first, one of God's creatures, so respect him until he is unrespectable, just as you would for one who says he believes in God. Proof of ones character is more then just saying it, but showing (practicing) it!
...............................
|
