A
female
age
36-40,
*ade_away
writes:So I go to this club every Friday night, it's a small place, you see a lot of the same people there every week. I met this guy there and it turns out he's a friend of one of my good friends I used to work with. A few weeks ago after the club had closed we talked for about 2 hours, just about anything and everything and I was really taken with him. Every week since then I've seen him out and it's always the same thing, we talk and flirt but nothing really comes of it. I guess I'm having trouble trying to take things further? Because I'm not entirely sure if he feels the same or if it's something he just likes to do when he's had a drink? Advice?
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2008): Well, I think everyone looks better at 2 am after a few drinks....so yes, I think you will have trouble gauging his interest after seeing him at the bar.
There is nothing wrong with a girl asking a guy out first, I guess, not ideal, but if you want an opportunity to get to know him....ask him to do some daytime activity where you are not drinking and see if you share any common ground or chemistry without the lubricant alchohol provides....he may not be as wonderful as you imagine, but then maybe again he is.
After that I would let him do the chasing. Men go after what they really want. If you keep pursuing him, you will never know if he really wanted you in the first place.
A
male
reader, Collusion  +, writes (21 April 2008):
Personally I suggest asking him to meet up for coffee or something, it's simple, inoffensive, and can be taken either way. If he still seems flirty and chatty, then you know it's not just the drinking.
Personally, I find girls pretty much need to hit me over the head and shout that they like me before I get the point, so maybe he's just kind of oblivious.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2008): Personally I suggest asking him to meet up for coffee or something, it's simple, inoffensive, and can be taken either way. If he still seems flirty and chatty, then you know it's not just the drinking.
Speaking as a 22 year old guy, I find girls pretty much need to hit me over the head and shout that they like me before I get the point, so maybe he's just kind of oblivious.
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