A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: Hi, I know I'm feeling sorry for myself, I feel tricked and not sure what to do. After asking my husband for a divorce in the heat of the moment, I left for a few weeks to think about it. I came back to him and suggested we go for counselling, he refused as he felt we'd had enough arguments. He wanted me to leave as he said he was the one who owned the house and I was just the home-maker. He knew I had no where to live as I'd left my country to live with him in his country and I was still waiting for him to help me become a resident of the country so I could work. I'd no means to support myself so he phoned my parents for me to stay with them until he sorted out his IRS taxes and mortgage. He booked a flight against my wishes, I refused to go. He made life so difficult I gave in because he said if I loved him I would go and he would make sure I was taken care of. It's been two months now. He has made contact once because I asked for him to forward on my medication in the mail as it was an emergency. I've emailed him many times asking for his help as I've been sleeping on friends couches for the past two months, long story. In the phone conversation he now says he will not send me over my belongings as he says they are his as he has paid for them. He said I'm getting nothing and I'm not entitled to anything as I was just a home maker. I was a wonderful home-maker and very supportive. I think he tricked me, can he get away leaving me with nowhere to live and keeping my belongings.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (7 December 2009):
Yes, you will. speak to the citizen's advice, and they can help. He might be clever, but he has been a little too clever for his own good this time.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you. Just to clarify. I lived in his country the US for 5 years, 4 of these years married next March 2010 married. He is a US resident and I'm a UK resident. I've been told by his neighbours he has already put some of my belongings in the dump, nothing I care about but he still has all our photos on the wall and our names on the answer machine. He enquired of me to my US neighbours a month ago, had they heard from me. H told them he didn't know where I was and how to make contact with me. He has all phone numbers and email address. My husband is a cleaver man. Will I still have rights as I have no money for legal fees or a flight to go back to the states. Thanks for listening.
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A
female
reader, Angzw +, writes (6 December 2009):
I don't know which country you are living in because you don't say so we can figure out the laws that apply, but all European Union nations, USA, Australia and Canada all have laws protecting foreign spouse's rights. Even as a home maker you are entitled to half your husband's property even if you were not contributing financially. If your husband uses your lack of residence permit as an excuse to abuse you, the countries I have mentioned have a law protecting you from deportation because as you can imagine its very common. Start by making a police report that your husband will not allow you into your home, then from there, they will recommend which lawyers are available to you. Many abused women's shelters offer free lawyers for these type of cases as well if you would like to google the ones in your area and phone them. Make sure you get half that house because that is the law. You were cooking for him, cleaning up after him and having sex with him so your contribution to the family is equal, if not more, than his. Good luck
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (6 December 2009):
No, he can't. Anything that was bought for you is yours, and he has to pay you maintenance because you were married to him. Go to this internet site www.citizensadvice.org.uk and find out where your nearest branch is by typing the postcode in (wherever you're living now). You can make an appointment with them for free, and see them for free and they will be able to give you all the advice you need. You were not just a home maker, you were his wife and you are entitled to what is yours. He has lied to you and tricked you. You are entitled to what is yours, so make an appointment to see citizen's advice, then go from there. You need to be strong, because you will probably have to go to court.
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