A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:If a girl likes you, can she cover up her true feelings for some reason, ie being scared of commitment maybe, or fear of the future? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI went on a date with someone last week, she wants to see me again; how many meetings do we have to have till I tell her I want to take it further?
A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (2 August 2007):
 Good for you. Soon you will meet someone that doesnt mess you about and you will look back on this one as a bad dream and wondering what planet yo was on lolGood luckC xxxxx
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIf she contacts me again, thats up to her, but I'm not gonna bother now
...............................
A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (2 August 2007):
Shes probably deleted your number yes, but thinks you will txt anyway, then shes got it still for when she can be arsed to reel you back in. Shes a game player & time waster.
Dont let her waste any more of yours.
C xxxx
...............................
A
female
reader, stina  +, writes (2 August 2007):
 "I dont want to get hurt anymore, I dont want a one-sided relationship, I dont want to be treated like a doormat." GOOD! Then the answer to your question of whether or not she deleted the number should be irrelevant - just be done with this. Don't allow yourself to be abused anymore.
(But just to answer your question, from the way you describe her, it seems to me this is just her way of messing with your head again. She seems obsessed with mindgames. She even seems to doing it with herself. She has issues.)
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou're right - the advice I would give is (in the me form), I dont want to get hurt anymore, I dont want a one-sided relationship, I dont want to be treated like a doormat.
Just one more question: Has she really deleted my number or is that another one of her attention-seeking moves?
...............................
A
female
reader, stina +, writes (2 August 2007):
After reading what you wrote, I think this girl is more trouble than she's worth. She runs hot and cold with you, doesn't communicate, is seeing someone else, stands you up, doesn't work towards creating a good relationship with you, acts immature in general, and is now playing more mind games with you. What she's doing to you is awful! If I were you, I'd be happy if she really deleted my number. I would also delete her number. Then I would go out and find someone who at least cares enough about me to want to treat me better than dirt. Honestly, dude, you deserve better and she's giving you a perfect time to escape.
And I know that even though it wasn't the best relationship, break ups completely suck. It may take a little while for you to get over her, but don't you think that it would be worth it in the future? You don't want to live your life with someone like this, do you? If you feel yourself starting to get upset about her, then I suggest trying to get your mind off of it and her somehow. You could go out with friends, write in a journal, take up new hobbies, go see a movie, read a book or countless other things. Get lost in something, you know? Once you've been away from her for a while, you'll probably be happy you two went seperate ways.
Have you looked at your problem as if you did not write it? Try to look at it from a stranger's perspective. What would you recommend this person do? Sometimes you are your best counselor, you know?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI understand that embarrassing her in front of her mum was not a good idea, but she isn't even willing to come and talk about it in person; to be that's quite immature.
She's also given me no explanation as to why she didn't turn up that day.
Also, she admitted to be (this was last night) that she is seeing someonne else. Anyway, I texted her yesterday to ask her how she was, because she said she felt alone and scared. She never replied, until I got that text last night. That was the reason she didn't text back (I know its wrong, but I'm not a mind reader!). So, after I tried to be friends with her, she says now that she'll delete my number (I dont know whether thats another one of her manipulation techniques either)
...............................
A
female
reader, stina +, writes (2 August 2007):
If you embarassed her and admit that you may have done that, it's kind of understandable why she wouldn't want to thank you for going, right? I mean, two wrongs don't make a right, but I can understand where she is coming from. Have you thought about that from her perspective?
Aww! Standing you up like that was rude and mean! Unless she blacked out or had some other kind of emergency, then there's no reason why she couldn't have called you or texted you (and followed up to make sure you got the text) to let you know that she wouldn't be able to make it. Has she let you know what happened and why she didn't meet you that day?
You say that you've texted her and emailed her and she ignores you. Have you tried bringing up your issues in person with her? One of the key things that every relationship needs in order to thrive is communication. Another biggie is honesty. It sounds like the relationship between both of you is severly lacking both. Unless progress is made in these areas, I really think it would be better for you to move on and be with someone else who actually seems to respect you and take your feelings into consideration.
If I were you, I would try to make things work and if she's unwilling then I would break up. You two obviously are at different levels and you shouldn't be this stressed out - epscially so early in the relationship! If it's like this during what is supposed to be the honeymoon phase, what's in store for the future? Just something to think about.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwe've been together since May; this is hurting me as well; she suffers from blackouts, so on Tuesday, she asked me to go with her to her local doctor's surgery, which I did. I met her mum as well; but then she didnt thank me for it after; she just texted and said 'thank you for making me look like an idiot in front of my mother' (I may have embarassed her a bit)What also makes me suspicious is she asked me to meet her one afternoon, and she never turned up, without any text with an explanation.I want to talk about this with her, but she ignores some of my texts and emails, and continually pushes me away (even after I gave up an afternoon's work just to go and be a good friend to her, and I'm self-employed)!
...............................
A
female
reader, stina +, writes (2 August 2007):
Hi Anonymous,
The first thing that I thought of after reading your response is that she just came out of a relationship and is just really confused about who and what she wants at this point in her life. Unless you want to go crazy wondering what she wants and if she's telling you the truth, I wouldn't expect anything except for a friendship at this point. Maybe when she "calms down" a bit, there can be a romantic relationship between the two of you.
But before any romantic relationship can happen, you both need to also be honest with one another. Are you the only person she is seeing? I mean, are you both in a committed relationship or is it open at this point? Maybe there's someone else, too? Sorry, I don't mean to make you think the worst, but it's a valid reason for her to act this way. She may be torn between you and some other guy.
But she may be getting freaked out about how fast the relationship is going. Maybe she didn't really love you like she said she did... How long have you been together?
There really are a lot of reasons why she could be acting this way, so I'm not going to list anymore. I think what you need to do is have a frank discussion with her about what's going on. Let her know that whatever is going on, it will be fine and she can be honest with you. As much as it might hurt your feelings to hear that she may not have actually meant it when she told you she loved you, or the fact that she might be cheating - it's not fair to keep you guessing at what is going on. You deserve to know the truth and she needs to let you know what's going on in her head.
If she says that she doesn't know what's going on, then perhaps you might want to take a break. How long can you put up with someone loving you, not loving you, being attracted to you, not being attracted to you...? If she keeps this up, you might think that *you* are the problem - and that's not true. Don't let her issues become your issues.
Take care.
...............................
A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (2 August 2007):
Shes not ready for anything long term serious yet?
Girls are great at holding back feelings & putting up barriers. Sometimes its a good thing though. We tend to have good instincts.
If someones blowing hot n cold with you, its not worth the hassle.
C xxxxx
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell at the start of our relationship she kept saying she loved me and then didn't love me, attracted to me one minute and not the next? What d'you think?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2007): Absolutely. We're experts at it.
...............................
|
