A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My ex recently came back saying that being in a rebound relationship, which he had for a month (I am not sure if he was in a relationship or just had some rebound sex) made him realize how precious I am to him, how he cannot live without me and so on...And now he really wants to work things out with me and be a good boyfriend in a committed relationship. It is actually quite surprising that he has changed a lot in a really good way - he never took me when he hung out with his guy friends, but now he is taking me everywhere he goes, introducing me to all his friends and family and trying to spend as much time as possible.Can being in a rebound relationship or having rebound sex make you miss your ex more and realize that you made a mistake by breaking up?Should I believe what he is saying or should I be concerned that he was with another woman so quickly after me? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, frayededges  +, writes (16 April 2009):
Hi.
Men think with their penis a lot of the time, particularly after the end of a relationship. Oh yes, we do!
In this particular case, the significant changes in your ex's behaviour give a lot of hope for the future. A willingness to include you more in his circle of family and friends is a good, positive step forwards.
Worrying about what has happened when you weren't in a relationship with him isn't going to help you at all. What I would suggest you do is decide for yourself what is acceptable behaviour IN a relationship - and- IF you decide to take him back, make damn sure he knows what the boundaries are.
A
female
reader, Original shiraz! +, writes (15 April 2009):
I think what should be on your mind is has he really changed? Words come easy and for its too easy to fool people for a bit and then slip back into your old ways. Ask yourself why you finished last tim? Past is past and he was an ex for a reason, these reasons dont just fade with time. At the moment he seems very in control almost like hes leading you? Personally id change this and make it clear to him it was to go my pace until the trust had been rebuilded, and this trust needs to be earned. He doesnt have the right to feel he can waltz straight back into your life with the line of 'i see now what ive missed and i want it back...' and expect it to run smoothly. Everyone makes mistakes and fogiving comes so easy these days, im not saying give up just keep your uard up until you are 100%. You do realise what you have when its gone and occastionaly it can change you into a bette person but at the same time its easy to remain who you really are after youve gained back what you wanted.you can believe what hes saying if your heart lets you, but never forget your head, your head tells the truth your heart tells the fairy tale - what you want to believe without the truth. He moved on fast but he came back, he obviously has reasons, hear him out, dont let him back in and then take it from there, stand your ground, you found independance when he left and never let him take that away from you. You are your own person who knows what hurt feels like, your questioning it already indicating maybe the past has done to much damage for a future?
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