A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Can anyone tell me how to mend a broken heart. I'm totally in love with this fantastic guy. He had a deep obsession once for me, but on deciding to leave his partner (they also have 2 teenage kids) she gave him the biggest guilt trip and now he has told me that he didnt have those feelings for me but that he was flattered by the attention and the fun we had. I have been left in total shock as he was plannin to tell her he was leaving that weekend. This guy is too nice and i think he probably feels so guilty towards her that this has clouded his feelings. Please you guys i really need some advice and please dont tell me that he is a user or a player because he is just not like that. Our feelings towards each other was so so real and i cant believe it wen he says he dont love me. He is desperate for us to stay friends but my heart cannot take the pain of letting him go every time we talk so i told him exactly how i felt and although he said he will miss me and think of me he understands that i need the distance and i know he will respect my wishes. Please help!!!!!
View related questions:
player Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2010): I have been through something similar and the first thing I would do is delete his number, get rid of his pics etc.
You have to surround yourself with good friends and go on a few nights out with them.
You could take up a hobby. Throw yourself into looking great so you feel better in yourelf. You could join a gym, get a new hair style and buy new sexy clothes. I took up yoga and it really is great for feeling at one with your body.
Crying i essential but just make sure there is someone there when you are finished to laugh with. Laughing and having fun is key!
A
female
reader, Spades  +, writes (19 March 2010):
 Time heals a broken heart.
He clearly has other engagements and responsibilites. Do not pressure him into getting back together. This isn't going to be what you want to hear. But you need to move on.
...............................
A
male
reader, Brunel  +, writes (19 March 2010):
Move on!
he is a user and was flattered by your attention!
Ther is someone out there for you! He is playing games and once it came to'fight or flight?', he took the clear option.
Be more careful next times!
If I could I would hug you
Kingdom
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2010): I'm afraid there is no easy answer or solution to mending a broken heart - 3 years ago, almost to the day I wrote on here asking the same Q and I guess it's just fate that I'm back again, almost to the day, needing to ask the same as you.
The next few days/weeks are going to be worst for you - the pain inside feels like it'll never go but one day, you'll wake and the pain will be just that little bit less. I view it as being in a dark forest where there's no light to help guide you out - then as you're walking along, a samll chink of sunlight appears and it it guides you to sunlight and out of the dark woods.
You need to give yourself time, don't put any pressure on yourself in thinking you shouldn't feel like this and lastly, cry if you want to as it really does help. Talk to friends or those that will listen.
I promise you'll get there but the one main thing also is to have some sort of closure in your own mind too
Dean
...............................
A
female
reader, Missprettynpurple +, writes (19 March 2010):
first thing first distance is very important in break ups an u clearly need some.next thing is chocolate not alcohol not a rrebound guy ( just adds to the painful mess) chocolate an mayb sum ice cream mmmm.aniwai if ure not into the whole weight gain these r sum other thing i suggest
1.a spa day
2.night out wit the girls
3.crying
4.visiting ure mum (not ure married sister if u hav one)
5.a good book
bascially learning how 2 be by yourself an learn how you were wen he wasnt around an sort out ure feelings in general
also ure own future how u image ure life in the future
an if u 2 do get bk together make sure he leaves his partner first,therefore making u the first an only woman in his life.
hope it works out
X
...............................
A
male
reader, mikehimself  +, writes (19 March 2010):
I won't say that his feelings were a lie. But I will tell you that I think you are being selfish. This guy has a wife and kids that he loves (on some level, no matter how he might feel confused) and that love him, that depend on him.
I won't say anything about your apparent affair, as you've given no details, but I will say this. If you really love this guy, you've done all you can by telling him how you feel. You owe it to him to leave him alone and figure out his life. What you're asking of him is HUGE, and you need to let him make his own decision. Which he apparently already has. You only assume that she maliciously guilted him in to staying for her own selfish reasons. For the moment anyways. Let him and his family go through whatever they need to and don't interfere. Don't rush things, as it could ruin both your lives.
And do you really want to make a life-long commitment (which is what breaking up a marriage might mean to him) to someone who's already cheated on his wife and kids? How would you feel if you were his wife?
Best of luck.
...............................
|
