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male
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anonymous
writes: I think I am bored with my routine in life. I don't know why but a few weeks ago I used to like going to my girlfriends and her coming down to mine but now I am so bored I find it harder to feel exited about going to her house. I get exited about seeing her but we never actually do anything in her house as there is nout to do there. It is kinda annoying because she is a great girl but she isn't particulary the most interesting person. She likes all the girly stuff and shopping and its all she goes on about, or periods and gossip with her mum. I haven't heard anything really interesting come out of her mouth in two years. While i like to discuss life events and have my theories on life. I know its up to her what shes into I respect that but I find her company a bit predictable at times. Can anyone suggest anything we can do different together and re-fresh?
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female
reader, starfairy  +, writes (26 September 2007):
 I hate to say it but it doesn;t sound like you have much of a future. If it's been 2 years and she hasn't said anything that mentally stimulates you, where's the hope? It would be different if you'd had loads oin common in the beginning but that faded away, but you are trying to revive an interest that was never there in the first place.
You can try to keep things by going stale by doing the things phitiger listed, the usual generic coupley things, but I don't think, if you don't even have anything to say to each other in the first place, that an outing is going to change that.
If you are so desperate to avoid it becoming routine, why don't you get involved in the things she likes? If she's into shopping (which I appreciate not all guys enjoy) why not suggest to her that you would like a new shirt to wear when you take her out to dinner. dedicate a day that you will go out shopping, depending on where you live, make it a day out in Londonor a large shopping centre somwhere near you. Stop for a coffee or a bite to eat during the day, bring up a few issues that interest you and see how she responds.
A
female
reader, Enzian  +, writes (26 September 2007):
 Hi there
I know what you are talking about, because there was a time of about half a year, my boyfriend had the same problem with me. I was just to stressed at that time that I didn't feel doing anything else but sitting around and doing nothing. But then my boyfriend came up to me and talked to me about this issue. The most important thing he did was, that he assured me how much he loved me. He was just bored about doing nothing and wanted to have an interessting relationship. He never said, that he was bored about me. He didn't wanted to change me, but whanted to make progress with the relationship. It's unfortunately true that a relationship slows down, if a couple just gets used to a normal course of life and doesn't try something new.
There are many things out there you can do. You can go to the cinema, the opera, any concert, theater, museum ... what ever you both may like. You could also meet friend or invite them for an evening to watch a video or play a game. You can also go on trips for one, two or more days like going hiking and sleep in a tent, or go to a city within cooee (in your neighbourhood) or in one which you would travell for about 4 houres and stay overnight. If you go to a city you could also split for two houres and while she goes shoping you could go to a motor show or whatever interesting thing is going on in that particular city.
I'm sure there is something you both like to do. But you may also go shoping with her from time to time, even you don't like this. I'm sure she would be very happy about this and also will be willing to do something with you she would never do on her own ot others. I think this is one of the secrets of a good relationship, that you overcome yourself and do something for the person you love - but this should be mutual. Probably it will first be you that will give more, but I'm sure she will appreciate that and will soon be ready to to jump over her own shadow to do other things she is not used to.
But first of all, talk to her and tell her what you like, what you dislike and what you would prefer. Also ask her, what she is happy about and what not, listen to her and try to respond her needs.
Hope this will help a little and wish you an interesting relationship with your girlfriend!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2007): Have you tried the cinema, going out for tea or maybe going to see a concert or something at the theatre.
Perhaps you could find something that you both enjoy so that you have something to talk about when you are at home. Theres all sorts you can do, day trips to blackpool or the sealife centre, ice skating - now thats fun, and a good work out to. Use your imagination, if you still find her boring perhaps you shouldnt be together, imagine the rest of your life with no conversation and nothing in common.
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A
female
reader, lisa21 +, writes (26 September 2007):
sorry to ask but i was wondering how old you both were because it seems like you are doing alot of staying in?
it doesn't sound like your girlfriend stands much of a chance as you said she hasn't talked anything interesting in two years? i'd like to know how on earth you've managed to be together for so long if you can not talk about things you both like, im a girl and i love a bit of juicey gossip but not all the time, it would drive me nuts lol.
it sounds to me as if you've already decided deep down it can not go anywhere, but if i'm wrong why don't you two get out of the house and do something different because then you'll have something new to talk about, you need to start a conversation as well, communication is the key.
good luck x
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