A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Can anyone pls explain how someone can be in love and then just lose feelings overnight? I joined on line dating. Not to date, not to cheat, but because I was bored because he would rather be out football training, than be home with me. He doesnt see it that way, because it's easier for him to believe I was cheating on him, than for him to face the facts. 4 years and engaged, and he falls out of love just like that. Is it fair to say he didnt really love me? I really miss him. Far more than he seems to be missing me. He has even blocked me on facebook.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2013): Why do you think he lost feelings for you overnight? He caught you playing on a dating site. What was you expecting?
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (18 January 2013):
 The easiest and simplest way to do this would be for you to become a guy... overnight. See... for us (guys) there is nothing odd or peculiar about the behaviour you describe. For US, it is "second nature....."
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (18 January 2013):
He probably blocked you on FB because you were bugging him.
You act surprised that he was bothered that you went to a dating site. I think you need to learn to take responsibility for your actions.
In this case your bf had a passion: football. Instead of being supportive you were jealous. And to get "even" you join online dating websites.
If you can't see your problem here then it doesn't surprise me that you feel your breakup was so sudden and for no reason. It also wouldn't surprise me if it happened again in the future unless you change.
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A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke +, writes (18 January 2013):
 You don't just lose feelings overnight. It's probably been gradually happening for a while.
You should NOT have gone on a dating site though while you were in a relationship with someone else. If you wanted to start a new relationship, you should have finished the one you were in first.
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A
male
reader, somewhere_between +, writes (18 January 2013):
 You have gone way off topic here. You joined a dating site and got caught. You cannot even take responsibility for it. Instead you choose to insult him even further by blaming his football. You got exactly what you deserved. Sorry, but it`s true.
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A
female
reader, Jeanette82 +, writes (18 January 2013):
 If you joined a dating site, then it sounds like you had no feelings for him either. I have been in his situation, and it stands out, just how much you have not thought about what it feels like for him. Your reason for joining a dating site does not convince me very much. I find it difficult to believe you too.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (18 January 2013):
 You joined a dating site because you were bored, im not really suprised he fell out of love just like that. If it were me i would be really upset if i found out my partner who i really like joined a dating site because they were bored.
He was going football training doing a sport he probally loves, not going down the pub everynight getting drunk and coming home legless. I think you made a bad move by doing what you did, if you want to salvage this abolish your profiles on these websites and start again with him. But be prepared for him to not forgive you, the trust barrier has been broken, and trust is the most important ingredient that binds a realtionship together.
Good luck
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A
male
reader, bronzed adonis +, writes (18 January 2013):
 He is angry with you for joining a dating site. This is not an indication of how much he loves you, or whether he does`nt love you anymore. You joined a dating site. Do you not know what people join dating sites for? How else would you expect him to react? Is this question actually serious?
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (18 January 2013):
 Yes, probably it's fair to say that he did not really love you , or did not love you anymore, but I don't think it really evet happens " overnight ". It happens imperceptibly, day after day , a little at a time , until something comes up that's a catalyst which compels you to say " what am I doing still with this person "...or at least provides you with a strong excuse/ motivation to dump the partner.
I must say that you served him a very good one on a silver platter, because what was he supposed to do on finding you on a DATING site ? The " I was bored " is the lamest excuse you could come up with, there are literally hundreds of other things that you could have taken up to entertain yourself, rather than seeking male attention.
The problems of a couple ( like : one does not make enough time for theother ) need to be addressed and solved within the couple, not bringing in strangers into your relationship.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (18 January 2013):
 Of course he left, you joined a dating site! It would be like if you went around telling everyone you were single. It doesn't really matter what your intentions were because he's not buying it, and frankly neither am I. You were upset with him so you went fishing to see what else was out there. If he were on here asking I would tell him to do what he did.
No it's not fair to say he didn't love you, I'm sure he did. You betrayed his trust and broke his heart. The best thing right now would be for you to reflect on why you joined a dating site when you were going to get married. Do you honestly not see why that would break his heart?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2013): It doesnt mean he has fallen out of love with you. It means he has rightly dumped you for being on a 'dating' site. You joined a dating site as a way of making a stand against his soccer training because you were bored? Are you for real? Is this a serious question? Of course he was going to dump you.
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