A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i'm here because i'm confused about my sexuality and i don't know what to do. For awhile now i have been thinking about men, specifically kissing and having sex with them and even having a relationship with another man. I try not to but when i get aroused, i start fantasizing about them again,i even masturbate to thoughts of men, sometimes even pictures of them when i finish though i feel wrong somehow and i instantly say to myself that i'm straight but i'm not sure any more. Now i know so far it might seem obvious but before all this, i was positive that i was straight as i was into all the things an average straight person would be into but now i'm really not sure, i look at women and i don't know what i feel but i don't get aroused or think about them. So can anyone help me with this? is this just a phase or am i gay?
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male
reader, aaringurl  +, writes (30 October 2011):
Well, they've pretty much said what's there is to be said.
I'll just add a little. You should give it a try. I mean, it's never wrong to choose to discover yourself. Try to work something out with a guy. Maybe a guy really is for you, and is what you truly want/prefer. And if in the long run, it seems like the lust and "gusto" has dried off, then you could conclude that it's all just a phase.
BE CAREFUL! Experimenting something like a relationship with a man doesn't mean you'd slut yourself out. Be wary and careful. AIDS is out there, everywhere. So please do choose people wisely. Check, check, check.
Good Luck though!!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2011): Sounds like you might be gay. That is perfectly okay, hon. i know it might seem shocking now because it is so new and different from how you saw yourself before, but without a sexual attraction to women you are not typically straight.i say typically because sexuality is never black and white. i am not technically sexually attracted to any gender for example (looking at naked people does not arouse me at all), hell i wasnt sexually attracted to my fiance til a year after we started having sex. for me my sexuality lies within my emotions. i am VERY sexual. sex itself is very arousing to me (always has been), but its the act and not the people involved that arouses me... with the exception of my fiance, who is the first and only person i have actually been sexually attracted to. (and he is a male. otherwise, i am only romantically attracted to others)things are very complicated. i say don't worry too much and don't let sexuality define you. just try to keep an open heart and an open mind and things will work out okay. don't limit yourself to the borders of a certain sexuality, especially when you are having issues like the ones you are.good luck hon!
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A
female
reader, Plexi  +, writes (30 October 2011):
 HONEY............you are gay and too scared to admit it to yourself because you are afraid of the reaction you will face from your friends and family. There is nothing wrong with you, be yourself and don't be scared. Here's a thought for you..............how would you feel about going down on a vagina and performing oral sex on her for 10 or more min? NO?..There you go:) Your family will love and accept you for who you are, no matter who you fall in love with and your friends will accept you if they are real friends, if they don't then they are trash!!
All the best to you sweets............hope this helps a bit:)
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A
female
reader, misztoria  +, writes (30 October 2011):
 Don't limit yourself to labels. What you feel is fine and you can choose whether you want to go on your instincts or not. Maybe this will help. I'm attracted to women. I look at other women and admire their figures and I get aroused when I think about being with women. I have been with them in the past, but I prefer men so I consider myself straight, but I don't limit myself to the word. My ex-boyfriend was concerned that I would leave him for a woman, but I assured him that I'm only sexually attracted to them and I can't ever seeing myself fall in love with one (although it might be possible). I never had more than a sexual attraction to women so maybe this is the case for you (with men). Good luck in sorting things out, but don't be hard on yourself about it.
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