A
male
age
36-40,
*ndy00
writes:Hi everybody. *If you don't know my situation yet, consult my profile; I've written everything in the "about me" section*Today, I'm just wondering if there is anyway/anything that can help me start accepting that things are over? Because I really am struggling to accept it. And by "it" I mean a few things.1. She broke things off, when I was so sure she couldn't, yes! "Couldn't" do that. Not to me. I thought that's how much she loved me, and I was wrong. Dead wrong.2. That it seems like she's been able to get through this so easilly. I get the impression that at this time she is happy. I know that's good, but there is part of me that is a little angry about that. probably because I'm having such a hard time, and it's her fault)3. Lastly, I'm struggling to accept that she's going to find somebody else down the road, whenever I think (and maybe I'm just being bigheaded) that in the long run, she will struggle to find somebody better suited for her, than me, and somebody that would treat her as well as I did. Maybe when I say that I'm just being sore, but I did an awful lot of good things for her, and yet, I can't be hers just because I live too far away. And that right now just seems too unfair to just accept.I feel like she has made a huge mistake in letting me go and yet, I may be wrong. This could be a good decision on her part. If I am wrong, then I don't know what that leaves for me. I know I'll find somebody else, but she is the one I wanted to share my life with. If she has made the mistake here, why do I have to be the one who is upset all the time? In my eyes, she has lost more than I have, and yet, you'd think it was the other way looking at how we are in the aftermath.So, anybody know how I can help speed this along, if possible? How do I get over these hurdles heartbreak has set up for me? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (6 August 2007):
 Oh my poor Buddy Andy. You know I'd send you a time machine if I could. But I'm afraid it's one day and one hurdle at a time. Just keep looking ahead and not backwards. We feel your pain and it isn't an empty promise...it will get better.
A
female
reader, Oblivia  +, writes (6 August 2007):
 Hi Andy,I so wish there was a way to speed these things along, some magical spell that would make the pain just stop. When I get dumped I can't do anything at all at first time, I don't even want to move because it hurts so much. Especially if you have a hard time making sense of it.All these feelings you describe are all stages one goes through in a brake up; sadness, despair, anger, more anger, despair again, and so on. You must just hang in there and as time pass by it will eventually start fading. You must believe in this.The only thing you can do is to try and soothe it a little, to give yourself some relief. Go out and have fun with friends, occupy yourself with something where you for a moment won't be able to think about her, do something to steer your thoughts away from you and her. It could hopefully work a little like a bandage. Just so you don't forget how it feels to have a good laugh with friends. Wish you all the best.
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A
male
reader, Andy00 +, writes (6 August 2007):
Andy00 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Ok, for the record; I have never asked this particular question before. I asked everybody if there is anything I can do to make accepting this situation easier. I can't recall asking that particualr question. I know I post a lot, but it doesn't mean that I'm always "asking the same question".
Anyway, yep Justaguy, I can quite clearly relate to you as far as emotions go. Remember, you can message me any time you want.
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A
male
reader, JustaGuy +, writes (6 August 2007):
Hey man only me,All those things you mention are EXACTLY what i'm thinking about me and my ex at the moment!!! I keep picturing her happily continuing with life, not even giving me a thought. It drives me crazy to think she is looking or will meet someone else, and yes I treated her like a princess too!Anyway, as little consolation as it is, just so you know your not alone in how your feeling.I guess there is no way to speed this process up, I wish there was though because it hurts like hell I know.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2007): I feel for you, as everyone else does but how many times can you ask the same question and expect to get a different answer? No one on this site is going to be able to tell you anything that you haven't already heard, no matter how many times you ask the same question. It seems to me like you're obsessed with this girl and you should consider getting some professional counseling. But no matter what, you need to accept that it's over and that obviously you weren't the one for her becuase if you were she wouldn't have ended it. You said that you can't accept that she is going to find someone else some day and you can't imagine anyone being any better than you. Maybe you're delusional. You sound to me from all of your posts that you have a false sense of reality. Don't you know that everyone goes through this? You're no more special than anyone else who has been dumped. The only thing that there is to do is to get over it. There's no magical answer like "go kidnap her and keep her locked up forever" I mean, what do you really expect us to say??
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (5 August 2007):
 Hi Andy,
Now danielepew commented that i'm abit soft and maybe i am but i have got to tell you, you are on this site enough to know that it's pretty much the same people everyday, and we have all given our views on your situation, and we do all feel for you because i'm sure everyone of us has been through something similar at some time in our lives.
Now down to it, i do not want to come accross harsh but as i have said we have given our views and i really don't think there is anything else anyone can say to add to that as i have read every single one of your responces that you have been given, i understand that you are low at the moment and probably lonely so could you not try picking some aunts that you have a rappor with and seeing if you can message them personally just to chat about anything.
You really need to start taking your mind off of this and stop beating yourself up about it, you have done nothing wrong it's just life.
Take care and sorry.xx.
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