A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:I am nearly 21 and I have never in my entire life had a girlfriend. I always see couples being happy around each other, I have tried, but barely got passed the dating phase with girls.I think my failure is largely due to my problems. When I was younger, I was more talky but my sister was quiet and shy. I think my parents spent so much time trying to build up her confidence (which they did) that I had my confidence development halted up until high school, worst time to try and build your son's confidence. So came 5 years of bullying and misery whilst my sister had it fairly easy. That's the other thing, I have a sister and no brother. It's upsetting that I'm the only one of my friends who has a sibling of the opposite sex, yet my friends who have brothers have had girlfriends. Since I never really have a person close to me (except my parents which doesn't count) I have felt I must have been chosen to be alone, single and not be close to anyone. Even though I want but can't as I haven't got the skills to improve my dating skills. I'm doing counselling but I don't think that is working. Can anyone give any advice, as I can't talk to anyone about this not even my parents.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2007): It's unfortunate you don't have a close relationship with your sister, as she would be an excellent person to speak to about dating. I only have a brother, and occasionally, we'd go for a pint or two and talk about our dating woes. Besides a sibling has nothing to do with dating. Neither my brother nor I (and my brother was very shy as a young man) have ever had problems getting dates or girlfriends/boyfriends.
First off, and not to be off-putting, but you sound as if you walk round looking rather morose. Trying to be positive is a very attractive quality and it shines through with people. Same with negativity. It is a quality that people can see right away.
Secondly, if your counseling is not helping, then change counselors.
Sounds to me like you are blaming outside factors in a situation that you alone have the power to change. Good luck to you mate. If you try to be more positive, then better things will come your way. Instead of looking at a female sibling as a negative, use it as a positive.
A
female
reader, clh91 +, writes (29 November 2007):
 ok i don't think it's what sex is your siblings determines anything.
coz i have a boyfriend and i have just one brother as a sibling and my best friends have had girlfriends and they have sisters as siblings.
my boyfriend has two sisters so i don't think this counts.
i think you need to maybe get out and socialise more.
talk to girls a bit more they say that someone will come along when you least expect and that might b the case for you. so don't go looking for people who could be your girlfriend coz that could lead to false feelings.
hope i helped :)
xxxx
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