A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have an embarasseing question regarding anal sex. I've had it a few times with my boyfriend (but it wasnt my first time with anal) (who by the why is pretty large for my standards, but not gargantuan, even though he does wear magnums) the first 2 or 3 times we tried lasted about 15 seconds before i couldnt take it any more, but the more we've done it the easier it is we do it once every two to three week It still riped me up a couple of times when he got carried away and when he pulled out his penis was bloody, But now im noticing that when we do it it still hurts, but my back door dosent feel as tight as it used to even when we dont do anal for over 30 days, I know haveing a lot of vaginal intercourse can stretch you out (although im not experiencing any of that which is odd) so im wondering will it ever go back to being as tight as it was or when he tore me did that do some damage and permanently stretch me out?
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2009): normal anal, with a penis, can't strech you out... now if you're play involves HUGE object (like a bowling pin) then yes... but normal play will simply result in toned muscles...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2009): I have anal frequently and the key to great anal sex is LOTS and LOTS of lube! I have had no stretching and what I've read on wikipedia says that's just a myth.
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A
male
reader, Tomas +, writes (18 February 2009):
First and foremost, and much more important than the rest of the answer, anal sex (like any kind of sex) SHOULD NOT BE PAINFUL. It sounds like he/you guys are jumping in waaaaaaaaay too fast. As in, realistically if you two decided you wanted to do that, and hadn't "played around" any back there, it may be a week + before you should actually insert his member. Small finger, larger finger, two fingers, small toy - slowly, much lube, over a period of days, never so large as to hurt, just stretching like you'd stretch muscles before a run. Seriously, you guys should not be rushing so much like that... he probably doesn't know any better, as it will feel fine for him. There is a reason when they show anal sex in porn that the camera cuts away: you don't just go in and do it.
Ahem. Okay, now to your question. Yes, your muscles (the sphincter is just another pair of muscles) will become more elastic as you slowly stretch out over time. And if you stop stretching, like regular muscles they will gradually tighten back up. Gradually.
But like other muscles, if you were to suddenly try to do a split without stretching, you could injure the muscle. That's the sharp jabbing pain, like pulling your leg. It can take a while for that to heal, but I would not expect anything permanent from it.
Be patient and expect it to be something you get into over weeks, and that then takes 10s of minutes to get going, and you'll enjoy. If it hurts, you're doing it wrong.
take care :-)
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