| A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: Can a marriage survive without sexual intimacy?My husband does not want me in bed.What is wrong?He says, he has no idea what happened.Should I divorce him?He does not want to go to therapy.What else can I try,before divorce?
View related questions:
divorce Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2009): am in the same situation i have only been married 11 months and he is just not interested alaways tired,or has a headache or not in the mood
im going crazy
A
female
reader, alexroliepolie  +, writes (17 June 2009):
 I have been seeing a lot of these questions on here lately, and there's one thing in common with all of them... They're written by middle-aged people. There comes a time when both men and women lose their sex-drive because of lowered levels of testosterone and also other hormones that become imbalanced. I have a suggestion. Eat Brazil Nuts. They will help the hormones and the testosterone levels even out and will give you a healthy desire for intimacy. Also, other foods like blueberries, peaches, salmon, tuna, celery, dark chocolate and other aphrodisiacs. If that doesn't work, then it might not be a hormonal imbalance. You might just want to talk to him about it. That's always a good solution. Communication. :) You're awesome. Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2009): something is wrong if he doesn't want to do it with you. since there is no medical evidence proving that he is going through a medical problem are you sure he is not playing away? maybe he knows there is nothing wriong and he is getting it elsewhere therefore he is reluctant to go to the doctor.
you can try jumping him and then lie that something is itchy, or just doesn't feel right down there. see his reaction when you "suggest" that perhaps it is a std. ( i know i am suggesting underhanded tactics here but a girl has to try everything to suss out the real reason. it may be underhanded but it may work. and yes, learn to pretend, cramping stomach, lower abdomon pain etc - all to indicate you have caught something. maybe in the end you wold have caught out your hb. make an excuse tell him the dr wants to run some tests to confirm some sort of std. and plse feint ignorance while telling him your symptons and prognosis. evil, i know but necessary. i belive to catch a crook , you need to be a better crook - so to speak).
whatever happens you need to get to the bottom of the problem - why doesn't he want to do it with you anymore.
my sisters hb just never wanted to do it with her. she though he had impotency problems. but later found out that he too was playing away. he got rid of the other woman and months later, Miraculously his impotency problems vanished. mkes you wonder, doesn't it.
...............................
A
female
reader, natasia  +, writes (17 June 2009):
 May be he has some kind of medical problem? I think you should go to the docs first.
How does he feel about this? Does he say he's sorry, or feel bad for you? Does he say that despite that, he still loves you? Is he physically affectionate? (because that doesn't have to come with sex)
Does he love you?
...............................
A
female
reader, betty_black +, writes (17 June 2009):
 Sex is important to any relationship, and especially marriage. You need to keep that spark alive and have that intimacy else what else connects you? I understand that once you get to a certain age you lose your sexual desire, maybe hes reached that point? Ask him!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2009): You say that he does not want you in bed... has he told you that he doesnt desire you anymore? He is in the age group that suffers most from erectile dysfunction and he may be too embarassed to tell you.
You hubby must go for a full medical check up to rule out any possible health issues that might be affecting him.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2009): I think a marriage can survive without sexual intimacy. There are other types of intimacy you can share with him. Plus there are toys. Maybe he could use one of those on you.
Just be patient and accepting of him, and I am sure that this problem will go away. If you are these two things, I am sure that he will be more than willing to talk to you more about this in his own time.
Take care.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2009): I saw a similar question on a blog called ask bossy. You could do good to go there and see what she wrote, maybe helpful. If you cannot find it, her answer was up the lines of talk to your husband, a real good solid talk. Find out the real reasons for why he does not want sex. Make him understand that the marriage might fall apart because of this, so he sees the seriousness of the issue. A marriage can survive without sexual intimacy, but only when both parts agree to it, which you clearly do not.
Best of luck, and there are many out there with the same problem, so reading other forums/blogs about this matter I am sure will help give you more direction.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2009): He may have a medical problem and is terrified to talk to you or anyone else about it. Ask him to go to relate or the doctors may be depression or both, men wont talk, wont go to doctors, they will bury their head in the sand, and if it is medical his pride and confidence may be dented.Try talking camly and with genuine worry, divorce is a big step and it may be something simple that he cant face the thought of himself. Good Luck and keep us updated. x
...............................
|
