A
female
age
41-50,
*ickivicki
writes:can a man love a woman, when's he's been emotionally abused by a woman in the past ?i found out through his friends, he had a girlfriend 10 years ago.he really loved this woman, and he's bitter about it.and i think he was really emotionally abused by her.i'm in a relationship with him now.and we had an argument recently over something trival.first, i call his cell, i get voicemail.i call his home, he won't talk to me.i write him love letters to his house, no reponse.i wrote him an e-mail, and he reported me to hotmail as abuse, and my hotmail account is closed.he calls, 1 ring on the house phone and the cell.now it feels like he's emotionally abusing me.the thing is i really love him.what should i do ?any advice is appreciated.thankyou. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (18 May 2009):
 Sweetheart there is NOTHING you can do right now, you have tried to contact him and he has completely over reacted, yes he has a past and yes he may have had an abusive relationship with his ex but this is the FIRST argument you guys have had and this is the way he reacts.
The fact that he reported you to hotmail and your account is closed is WAY WAY over the top as it is making you out to be some sort of lunatic.
Don't do anything else, sit it out, if he calms down and wants to talk to you, then tell him how hurt you have felt as he has lost your hotmail account for you and just closed the shutters up to you (emotionally speaking). That is no way to work through an argument.
When you are an adult you have to realise that there are times in life when two people don't agree and if this is the way he reacts to a first argument, god help you.
The fact that his friend's had said he was bitter about his last relationship, is he taking out that bitterness on you?
You deserve better treatment than this, how long have you been going out with him?
You said the argument was over something very trivial? Who in your opinion was in the wrong or do you feel it was just a misunderstanding?
Back off and stay busy so that you are not constantly waiting for his phone call, if he realises you are not like his ex i.e. getting angry and abusive towards him then maybe he might realise what he stands to lose.
You have tried all the communication ways to reach him and he has acted like a child throwing his dummy out of the cot, they say men retreat to their caves and women talk.
I think if and when he decides to act like a grown up then let him know how hurtful he has been to you and not allowed you to work this out with him. Let him know that if you are to continue in a relationship with one another you need to be able to talk through your differences and not run off at the first sign that your relationship is not perfect.
Anyway, if he does decide that he has acted like a plank, remind him that making up is so much more fun than arguing eh!!! lol
The ball is firmly in his court, but don't wait around forever until he finally decides to forgive you. It takes two to make an argument and it takes two to move forward.
Keep us posted eh!
BFN
Country Woman
x
|
