A
female
age
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*ueeny63
writes:My days are less painful after my devestating breakup with my boyfriend a month ago. Although we had difficult times and great ones. After 3 years with him, I think about him everyday, do men think of the person they brok e up? We knew what we were doing at all times, the closeness was a little too much, but I love him. It may have been his insecurities, I don't know. I did baby him at times which he didn't mind much because he said no one ever treated him like I did and he loved it!! Can a man just forget about a woman so quickly? Him call, he is steadfast I know him. can his dislike of me ( I did nothing to upset him, its all in his head) I know he is grieving the loss of his brother and father, how can he hate me and not want to see me ever again? I said some harsh things to him for treating and saying horrible things to me... but a few days later I did apologize via phone...nothing has swayed him...I still have some things over his house, should I try to get them ( I know its an excuse to at least see him) I am here just wondering.... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2009): One person often checks out of the relationship long before it's over and that could be the case here. Rarely does someone just wake up one day and say "that's it, I don't want him/her anymore!" I'm positive he still thinks of you though but is probably not fantasizing about all the good stuff, more like remembering incidents that were not positive because he seems firm in his position. I doubt he hates you though, he's just ready to move on and I suggest you do the same.
A
male
reader, mikefromms +, writes (12 May 2009):
Did you guys ever plan to marry? If you love him just let him know how to get in touch with you and that you love him but are not begging him for a relationship. Just let him know you are there and you are now going to leave him alone.
You didn't elaborate on the death of his brother and father....Many times people who are grieving will have feelings of anger, guilt, depression, of course, but the guilt for whatever reason may make him feel like he shouldn't be having fun nor enjoying life because his deceased loved ones cannot enjoy this life anymore. Another thing, he may be projecting his anger on too you and he really doesn't mean it toward you. He is obviously hurting deep inside. Let him know if he wants to talk about his brother or father you are there. Encourage him to talk. It will help him to heal and he will bond to you for simply listening. Think about his needs and how they can be met. Let him know you are not there only for the good time but for the sad times as well. If he doesn't have any other girl in his life, apologize for whatever you said and give him this offer of support. Don't be afraid to make the first move if you want to give this relationship a fair chance again. What do you have to lose?
I work in mental health and enjoy helping relationship. Also, part-time minister.
God bless,
Mikefromms
Mikefromms
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