A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:This is a question for the guys; is it possible for a guy to NOT want to have sex with somebody, but then go ahead and do so, and still cum, even if he's not enjoying it? My bf always says he's not into one nighters, but he told me that whilst drunk, he had one with a neighbour. He said it was a chance meeting, and she invited him in as he was walking past her house. He said he didn't even know she lived there, and had been out drinking when she invited him in. He said he went in, and had a few more drinks, and she started touching his leg, and one thing led to another..he said at first he wanted to at first as he hadn't had sex in a while, but then began to realise he didn't actually want to, but went ahead anyway. He says he didn't find her attractive, couldn't get fully hard, didn't enjoy it, and just wanted it over. He says he did cum, and that he left 10 minutes after because the atmosphere was so awkward. Call me naive, but how would a guy even manage to have sex at all if he didn't find the woman attractive, and didn't want to be there, let alone cum??To me, this sounds ridiculous. He said he never saw her again, then he said she knocked on his door and called his phone a few times, but he ignored it. Why would this have happened if they both regretted it do much, and why would he be so rude as to ignore her? He said he'd known her for years (she is a few years older than him) and couldn't believe it had happened. He also says he was in a bad place mentally when it happened, but I can't help but feel there's a lot more to this than he's letting on. Any opinions?
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male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (28 January 2013):
Yes you can cum. Stimulation is sometimes physically pleasurable but if you're brain is in the wrong place then it wont seem like it.
Even people who are raped can experience pleasure and sometimes that's one of the hard parts for them to deal with when healing.
And yes you can cum and not orgasm. But it has more to do with things other than it feeling good or not. Sometimes you're tired or whatever and sperm may come out but you don't really feel anything.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIn response to Henessey, no, I can see why you'd say it's not my business, but the fact is that he has made my life a misery over one night stands in my past (far longer ago than his one). He has also slagged off numerous people we know for having one night stands, and has had a go at me for associating with them (most of these guys sre a good deal younger than him, too).I just find it entirely hypocritical given his own little rendezvous that took place in the not so distant past, and to then claim he didn't even want to be there I just find ridiculous.
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (27 January 2013):
 Lot's of guys can have physical pleasure without their head being there. That said, you're right, the story doesn't hang together all that well. I have to wonder why he brought it up in the first place?
I'd let it go -- if there really is more to the story, you'll have to really dig at him to get it, which will cause tension in the relationship.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2013): Hmm..well he was late 30s when this happened. What I don't understand is why he seems so embarrassed about having a one night stand? It just seems bizarre to have one, and then state that you "didn't really want to", "didn't enjoy it", etc. I always thought that for a guy to cum, then he has to be experiencing pleasure?
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A
male
reader, C. Grant +, writes (27 January 2013):
Yes, absolutely. The younger and healthier, the more it's possible. The thing that tends to prevent performance in young, healthy men is guilt. If his conscience isn't getting in the way, he can certainly do it.
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A
male
reader, Hennessy1989 +, writes (27 January 2013):
 He is probably being vague with the details because it is his past and he doesn't want to talk about it, whether he enjoyed it or not or whether he did cum is not really any of your business
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A
female
reader, straight to the truth +, writes (27 January 2013):
I know I am a girl and so probably dont know as much as the guys but thought I would make a comment from what past boyfriends have said.Basically to my knowledge even if a guy doesn't really find someone that attractive but basically want to just have sex then yes they can get hard and cum. Guys can get hard with just a sporadic thought of sex whilst doing something very unsexy like ironing lol. One night stands are normally just two people who want to have sex but dont really have any desire to see eachother again which tends to make you think their not really attracted to eachother. I have also been told that Guys can actually come without having an orgasm, I didn't believe this at first because I thought it was all linked for me but I have now had a few friends tell me this is true. Its not common but it does happen. Anyways, at the end of the day I would say to believe your boyfriend on this one because I think guys can have sex even with someone they think is utterly repugnant if they basically simply want to have sex especially if it had been a while.
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