A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Can a man one dated for 3 years we shared good and bad times. He is grieving over the loss of 2 family members (brother and dad)who died 2 days from one another. He said horrble things and accused me of things that were not true. During this tragedy I was there and with him he didn't want me to leave his side, then within hours I am being accused of things that were not true he was very disrespectful, I couldn't believe it! Then he shut down told me to leave and I haven't spoken to him in 1 month and a half. Weeks ago I left him messages he would not pick the phone, he acts like that when he is upset. I said horrible things, I demanded an apology. Then I realized that he is grieving so I apologized. Its hard to think that all that we shared is gone. Can a man forget a woman that quickly. I am hurt, but my ego makes me not want to call him. I would wait if I know he will apologize..He is stubborn...He loved me. I was the one he counted on and we were constantly on the phone. He lives more than an hour from me. What should I do? Am I right to want an apology, and are men that callous?? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2009): He wasnt the guy for you then. You have to find a guy who is willing to share his love with you. You will hear love in his voice and you will see love in his dreamy eyes,
A
female
reader, Lina319 +, writes (14 May 2009):
 One part of me thinks he is being a really big a**hole, but then another side of me feels that he is mourning the loss of two very important people in his life, deaths that were very close together, the mind sometimes cant handle a blow like that.
Despite the agony, pain and loss he feels, his lashing out on you is understandable, when we are angry, or hurt we say things we may not mean at the time, then regret them later when were thinking straight. The thing I dont comprehend is him ignoring you for a month. Despite the fact he is the one mourning, he is being a tad bit selfish because I am sure you too are feeling horrible inside. This should be a time where you two comfort one another. Not distance yourself. Whats scary is sometimes it takes something as drastic as a death to reveal the true nature of a partner.
I think if you live an hour away from him, go to his house, knock on the door, wait for him and talk to him, or at least try to. If that seems a bit too rash, then why not give a call to his close friends, or other family members to get an idea of what he has been doing, maybe they can talk him into finding support within you.
I hope everything works out for you, be hopeful.
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