A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupid and all aunts.Can a guy and a girl remain best friends with one another even if they both become romantically involved with other people? Would that friendship last or gradually become more distant due to having a boyfriend or girlfriend?
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female
reader, Farris +, writes (19 March 2007):
 In short; YES! =) It's really not that difficult so long as you make it clear to each of your partners that the relationship between you and your friend is purely platonic. It is possible that the friendship could become distant, but it's up to you to keep working on it and making sure that this doesn't happen! It is every bit possible though.
Remember, relationships should ENHANCE your life, not restrict them and stop you doing things you like.
Best wishes.
A
female
reader, JulietteElise  +, writes (19 March 2007):
 of course its possable!
most of my friends are male, and most of them i've been friends with for years, though some more reccent, all the while either they or me, or both or neither dated others.
however, the other people have to be all right with this, because, quite unfortunitly, many females.... and also many males, feel threatend when the one they love has a close friendship with someone of the opposite gender. unfortunitly, with people who are very insequre, etc, no amount of reassureing will help ("im with you not them!, etc). Thus, its best if its made clear in the beggining of a dateing relationship, that these people are your friends and you want them to always be your friend, so if they want to date you they will have to accept this. However, its best to act approretly too, perhaps not as many hugs, and no more cuddleing if that had ever happend, etc. If a dateing relationship is healthy and happy though, neither person should have a reason to feel jelouse or threatend... and once again, its all about trust and communication.
however..... if you are dateing someone who is so insequre they don't want you to hang out with a friend (weither they are there too or you see them alone), is this really a person you want to spend the rest of your life (potentialy) with? For this could evolve into you not being able to talk with people of the opposite gender at work or social events, etc... or even want to read your mails, screen your calls, etc.... healthy relationships should NOT be about walking on eggshells. I'm very lucky in that even though most of my friends are male, none of my bfs have ever seemed jelouse or said i couldnt hang out with them (i ussualy hang out with one friend at a time, so this would mean with out my bf!), and i'm still very good friends with all of my ex-bfs and hang out with them once in a while.
so... don't worry. if u are good friends with someone, whatever the gender, you can still be friends with them if you are dateing someone else. Its all about weither or not each of you still want to be friends, hang out or talk, and so forth. Some people get so wrapped up in the beggining of dateing someone that they lose contact with their friends for a while, which is sad, but dousnt mean its the end. so tell your friend that even though you both are dateing others (or if you did) you still want to be best friends because the friendship is important.
people who say males and females cant be "just" friends are stupid in my opinion.... or insequre perhaps.
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A
female
reader, lamo +, writes (18 March 2007):
 i was romantically involved with one of my best friends and it come wired between us, that is still a hard question for me to answer. if you both want it to work and is comfortable with each other and comfortable with each other seeing each other with a dirrerent partener then i dont see why not.
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