A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Right. Simple question, more complicated answers I guess.I've read lots of times on here before that men and all males in general are rubbish at noticing signs that a girl likes them. Apparently they have no clue until they're told. I know girls tend to have a better emotional IQ. But are guys really that oblivious to the signs?Will men really have no idea that someone likes them until you tell them straight up? I find this hard to believe. And yes, for anyone who's wondering, I'm in a situation where I don't know if he can tell if I like him. I know it'll vary with everyone. But calling all males out there, can you tell if a girl likes you? And what signs do you tend to pick up on most?Cheers all. x Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2009): Very obvious
They will flip their hair a lot. turn their body toward you.They will ask a lot of questions showing interest.Laugh at your jokes even when they are not funny.Nervous inflections bite their lip,pupils dilate, scratch rub their wrists or face.Holding a stare just a little too long so you will notice.They will tell a friend that will tell you.
If all else fails tell him you like him.guys are direct
We do get false indicators of interest from some but they are the female version of players.
Unfortunately some of the hot girls use the signs as a way to get stupid guys to pay for their drinks and do them lots of favors.
A
male
reader, Male20 +, writes (9 December 2009):
ok so i feel it is irrelavent if all males can or cannot tell if you like them, what you want is some advice on making sure this guy knows you like him.
simple..
1) text, email speak often.
2) go out together often
3) kiss when the time is right
4) everything else follows
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A
male
reader, Illithid  +, writes (9 December 2009):
 Yes, we need to be told in no uncertain terms most of the time. A woman can be friendly, ever flirty, without meaning it. More than once, girls have laughed and looked in my eyes and gone for big hugs and asked to see me more and arranged alone time but hey look, only as friends. And even girls that ARE interested send mixed signals, flirting one minute but then avoiding contact and ignoring calls and standing me up for plans. When I am told she thinks I'm a good guy, laughs at all my jokes, but then forgets she had plans with me or goes on about her ex or whatnot... I get the feeling it's the Friend Zone.
Add to this that all men are taught from an early age that women attach a double meaning to everything and are never straightforward in saying what they mean (such as "does this make me look fat" NOT being a question she means to have answerer) so even when you send clear signals, we wonder if you meaning. And with today's casual sex culture, even sleeping with a guy doesn't mean you actually like him.
so you can hint and flirt all you like, but most guys will either hit on you just hoping you're receptive, or won't get the hint. Say what you mean or most men are too dense to read your mind.
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A
male
reader, Griffo  +, writes (9 December 2009):
 One thing im certinaly aware of and to make it simple here, is that men are black and white like a newspaper, there's no fuzzy grey stuff in between. Men like yes or no answers plain simple cut straigh to the point. But like all humans we have feelings too, of course we do.
Women on the other hand like to be noticed they are like colorful flowers and many flavours, now this is a good example: Most women I would say also have soft kind hearts so if they don't like a guy they cannot tell him to his face in fear of hurting his feelings. Most guys will, yes, feel hurt but soon let her go. infact its far worse for a man if a woman does not tell him anything and leaves it up in the air. It can also be far worse for a woman because the man might very well take it as "she's just playing hard to get" when she very well is not.
But some men and women's personalities spill over into each of these above examples.
To cut a long story short and more to your point the reason why your probably not telling him is fear of rejection, again woman have soft kind hearts and it would be far worse emotionally for a woman for her self-esteem if she was rejected. The best way to know is keep hanging out with him, give lots of eye contact be fun and flirty, start flaunting it with him too. he will soon build up the courrage to ask you out or you may have to ask to do something with him, but sometimes a woman has to just take that leap and say "hey, wanna go see a movie" or "what are you doing on the weekend" ask him to do something he likes to do by saying your also interested in those things in the middle of conversation with him. just keep talking with him (not too much) as though your already together.
i pick up on:
1) Eye contact.
2) A smile.
3) flirtacious behaviour.
4) A gtood conversationalist.
5) Sharing interests or experiences.
6) Behaviours, passions and ambitions.
At the same time and in the initial step 1 and two above we are checking each other out physically, which confirms all the physicall sexual attraction stuff. then we move more in depth into 3, 4, 5 & 6.
hope this gives some "technical" overview.
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A
male
reader, Griffo +, writes (9 December 2009):
One thing im certinaly aware of and to make it simple here, is that men are black and white like a newspaper, there's no fuzzy grey stuff in between. Men like yes or no answers plain simple cut straigh to the point. But like all humans we have feelings too, of course we do.
Women on the other hand like to be noticed they are like colorful flowers and many flavours, now this is a good example: Most women I would say also have soft kind hearts so if they don't like a guy they cannot tell him to his face in fear of hurting his feelings. Most guys will, yes, feel hurt but soon let her go. infact its far worse for a man if a woman does not tell him anything and leaves it up in the air. It can also be far worse for a woman because the man might very well take it as "she's just playing hard to get" when she very well is not.
But some men and women's personalities spill over into each of these above examples.
To cut a long story short and more to your point the reason why your probably not telling him is fear of rejection, again woman have soft kind hearts and it would be far worse emotionally for a woman for her self-esteem if she was rejected. The best way to know is keep hanging out with him, give lots of eye contact be fun and flirty, start flaunting it with him too. he will soon build up the courrage to ask you out or you may have to ask to do something with him, but sometimes a woman has to just take that leap and say "hey, wanna go see a movie" or "what are you doing on the weekend" ask him to do something he likes to do by saying your also interested in those things in the middle of conversation with him. just keep talking with him (not too much) as though your already together.
i pick up on:
1) Eye contact.
2) A smile.
3) flirtacious behaviour.
4) A gtood conversationalist.
5) Sharing interests or experiences.
6) Behaviours, passions and ambitions.
At the same time and in the initial step 1 and two above we are checking each other out physically, which confirms all the physicall sexual attraction stuff. then we move more in depth into 3, 4, 5 & 6.
hope this gives some "technical" overview.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (8 December 2009):
I think this is a good question! I'm interested to see more responses. I often wonder whether some guys are really that oblivious or if they're just not interested.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (8 December 2009):
The problem is girls flirt far more than guys. So if you smile at a guy, he has to sit there and figure out whether it's a friendly smile, or whether you're interested. Guys are rubbish to be honest, because girls are very good at sending out too many signals at once. If you flirt, it could be friendly, or it could mean something else. I once fancied a girl who flirted with me all the time. So I finally asked her out. Guess what, she was just being really friendly. There aren't many signals short of telling him that make it easy for a guy to decode it all. I tend to notice signs such as smiling, only when they look, or mirroring (where her movements are the same as mine), and some body language. But it's taken me ages to get to this point. So my suggestion would be to speak to him, rather than send out all sorts of hints, or he will be sat there forever wondering what you mean. some guys are better, I'm sure there are some on this site. But the majority just don't know what it all means.
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