A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:A few weeks ago I bumped into my friends mom in a local pub. I've fancied her for ages and she came back to mine where we ended up having sex. She's a lot older than me, 45 and I'm 22. Anyway we've met each other several times since and have just began to...fall..for each other. We have a lot of fun when we're together but she's said she's scared of 'getting hurt' as I won't fancy her as we get older.I really really like her but what do you think I should do? Call it off or carry on? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2011): No relationship is gauranteed regardless of age. if youre enjoying her company and like her so what enjoy it for as long as it lasts nothing is ever permanent unless one is very lucky!!!!
There are lots of older attractive women and if you like her then why not and take it as iit comes you could pack her in for a younger girl who you might not like as much!!!!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2011): The age difference is too great really. Of course she is worried she may get hurt. We all risk that when we get involved with someone. In your case, at 22, you are at the beginning of your life, whereas she is facing middle-age and all that entails. If you enjoy each others company and have a bit of fun, why not. You are only a few weeks into this and the novelty has not worn off. The issues of the age difference have not emerged, if they do of course. So I would be honest with yourself and her from the outset. Try not to dive in too deep, too quickly. Hold back and just be straight with each other.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (20 January 2011):
 It depends how much you value your friendship? Can you imagine if one of your friends slept with your mum? There is no way you would remain friends with them! So if you want to still be friends with him - then break it off.
But if you dont care about your friend - then by all means, carry on if you want to. Keep in mind it is VERY unlikely to work out, she wont be able to have kids when you want them, you will end up being a carer for a pensioner when you are in your early 40's etc.
Look - this relationship has no future so the best thing you can do is end the relationship now and hope that your friend never finds out. This friendship will be far more valuable for you than a relationship with a woman that has no future.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the replies people! Yes, i've had relationships before but i've always had a thing for much older women. Whether i've got some weird variant of the oedipus complex I'm not sure but that's my preference. No, it can't work as a serious relationship we have to keep it secret from pretty much everyone. Maybe I should say i'm only really available for sex in a way that doesn't make her feel devalued? Tricky...
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (20 January 2011):
 Well that's ultimately up to you. Have you had many other relationships before? Does your "friend" know about this? What will happen when friends and family find out? Do you think there is a future with this woman?
You've got some thinking to do mate.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2011): I think you should call it off. I have a feeling (even though you might not agree) that she will end up getting hurt and I don't think this relationship you two have going on should be taken to a serious level. In the end its really how you feel and what your instincts tell you but I say end it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2011): call it off
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