A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Maybe I'm being paranoid but why is it every time my boyfriend's cell phone is on the "charger" here at the house, everyone can still reach him. Meaning it still rings, while it's charging and he can answer it and talk while it's on the charger. But when he's out of town on business and his phone is on the "charger" it's like it's off? It goes straight to his voicemail and you can't find him for hours. Last night my boyfriend said he was going out for "pancakes" at 9:30pm (which I thought was kind of strange because he told me at 6:00pm he was hungry and was going to go eat dinner) He said there was a Denny's across the street from the hotel where he's staying on business, and he was having a craving for pancakes. Okay I didn't make a big deal out of that. But when I called his cell phone at 11:00pm to say good-night (which we frequently do before going to bed when he works out of town) his phone was off. I tried calling several times later, and it went straight to his voicemail like it does when it's "off". I got a little worried. I got a little pissed. This morning he claims it was on his charger. Most of the time he's good about being accessible to me and he expects me to do the same. But there have been a few questionable things that have happened in the past that made me wonder whether I should worry about these strange little disappearences or not...? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2007): Yes. very sketchy. If he is really going on business and travelling to different cities, then he's probably paying for sex.But if he is just saying that he is going out of town, but he is really not, then he is probably having an affair.
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (11 August 2007):
 When he told you his phone was on charge, why did you not tell him "that doesn't make any difference", tell him you don't button up the back, that you know if a phone is on charge it can still be called and answered. Going from his past record re the emaails to your friend I would definitely say he's not to be trusted and it's only a matter of time here till he's caught out.
It's your call whether or not you want to wait till that hapens or look for someone else that you CAN trust!
Eve
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (11 August 2007):
 If this is a time limited relationship, and you are just out for some fun, and intend to date others, then no, you should not be worried.
If you are thinking long term or committment with him, then YES, you should be worried.
-Frank B Kermit
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2007): Yea, you should be worried. Use protection when having sex with him. I don't know what else you can do, except if he says he's at the hotel & you suspect he isn't, call his room number. But that still doesn't insure that he would even answer that phone if he was in the room. If I were you, I'd leave him but I couldn't handle the thing that happened with your friend.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2007): Our relationship has had its ups and downs. Last summer a friend of mine started e-mailing him, flirting and promising sex. He told her which dates he would be traveling to her city for business and which hotel he was staying at. This is probably where my mistrust started. She forwarded me the e-mails and the whole thing blew up in his face. I eventually forgave him but I still sometimes wonder about him when he's out of town and I can't reach him late at night. When he's home, he's great otherwise but I'm there too and we spend pretty much all our free time together. I just wonder if he has an alter-ego when he's out of town, though he swears he just watches TV in the hotel and lives a pretty boring life when he's away from me. Most of the time I believe this because we chat alot when he's gone, but just every now and then there are these unexplained disapperances, or weird things that happen with his phone late at night. What would you think?
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A
female
reader, skye +, writes (10 August 2007):
 Hello,
Im sorry that you are feeling so bad about this, but I agree with your need to know whats going on.
My cell phone rings when it is on charger and so does everyones that I know. Dont jump to conclusions straight away though. Could he have been in a poor reception area? Did he have to turn it off for a legimate reason and simply forget to switch it back on again? Or is it possible that he was in a noisy environment with people talking, music, or street noise that meant he did not hear your call? Ask your boyfriend calmly to explain these disappearances.
If he cant, gets rather sketchy or still blames the charger then you need to seriously reassess your relationship with him for he could be lying to you.
You deserve a partner who will respect you and give you no reason to doubt him, so please get to the bottom of this as soon as you can.
Best wishes,
Skye
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (10 August 2007):
 It's hard to say.
If the cell phone works while recharging WHEN HE'S AT HOME, but it doesn't work when he's away, it's obvious that he's keeping it off.
He said he went to Denny's but obviously he went somewhere else, too.
However, I cannot really say if you should worry. How is your life together, in general?
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