A
female
age
26-29,
*ittlemisshelpful
writes:Hey guys, i've got a situation that i'd really love some help with. So i've been getting to know a guy recently whos quite a lot older than me (im 17). However, our personalities just click.. He makes me laugh, and we just get on so well. We have a thing where he calls me his little sister, and him an older brother, and often express our care for one another. When we're together we hug and cuddle alot. But. He has a girlfriend of 4 years.. Last night we went out together and sat outside.. He put his arms around my waist and had me sit on his lap.. Im very much so attracted to him, but i know hes dating and its very wrong of me to think like that. We talk very often online, and see eachother alot. Can someone give me some advice please? My aim is not too cause him and his date to break up. Thank you
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2012): Leave him well alone. Do u seriously want to be with a guy who thinks its ok to act like that with youwhen he is in a four year relationship. Hes a player and is enjoying having a young girl hanging off his every word, how much older is he, are you sure he' s not just a pervert!
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (24 August 2012):
 if he's much over 19 he's a predator.
He has a long term GF and he's CHEATING ON HER with you... what a wonderful man that makes him.
a liar
a cheat
a predator....
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 August 2012):
 Creepy dude hitting on a young naive 17 year old.... Honey, you need to step away from this. He ISN'T going to drop his LONGTIME gf for you. He might wanna SHAG you, but that is about it.
You make him feel that he is all "that" because he can make some young girl all gooey.
Be smart. And learn to set some limits. Why would you even think CUDDLING with a guy who is "taken" is OK?
He is NOT seeing you as a little sister, but a girl who can easily be "groomed" and manipulated.
Since he can act the grown up maybe you need to.
How would you feel if YOU were the GF and your BF acted liked this with some young/younger girl? Would you think that was OK?
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (24 August 2012):
 This girl isnt just his 'date' - this is his long term girlfriend of 4 years!
He sounds like a total creep to be honest - how much older than you is he? If he's sitting you on his lap, cuddles you and puts his arms around your waist a lot I would be a bit freaked out if I were you, it sounds like he is trying to groom you for sex. Older men know that teen girls are very impressionable and easily influenced, so he knows exactly what he is doing when he does these things. He will be calling you little sister to try and get you to trust him and feel comfortable around him, whilst trying to get you close to him physically.
I would run a mile if I were you and never speak to him again! He is not a nice man, if he has a girlfriend yet is trying to get in the pants of a 17 year old he is not a nice person! He is clearly lying to his girlfriend, no girlfriend of 4 years would let their boyfriend hang around alone with a teenage girl - that is wrong on so many levels! So what you have on your hands here is a liar, a guy who probably wants to cheat on his girlfriend, and someone who clearly is trying to groom you for more than just friendship.
Tell him you dont feel comfortable carrying on like this when he has a girlfriend and you would rather you didnt see each other any more, and leave it at that. He should get the message.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2012): you may be attracted to him but it is wrong to act on it. My suggestion is to distance yourself. you could be getting the wrong idea, I have a friend who is very cuddley with everyone (including me) and has a girlfriend who is also a very close friend to me. Some people are just overly friendly.IF he is attracted to you, you will only end up being the other women and that isn't a good place to be. Keep your distance for the sake of his relationship and yourself. xx
Good luck
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