A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi there I have been seeing a guy for a couple of months, we have been on some amazing dates.We did sleep together, but was not straight away and that was all good too. As soon as things started to get even better he has withdrawn and not asked me out for a good few weeks!? I know he is off to Ibiza in a couple of weeks which was booked way before we met, but his contact with me has appeared to reduce too. I came out of a really awful relationship before this so am quite nervous as I really like him and am worried of another failed relationship. :-( We have many common friends and therefore will definately see him at some point but nothing has gone wrong so far and I am confused unless he is just taking some time out and some space as he is unsure of what he wants? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2012): Sometimes people don’t do the right thing because they are emotionally lazy or selfish. Sometimes they just made a mistake. A little patience and observation will tell you which it is soon enough. Events will unfold and you will know. That’s when you can decide what to do yourself.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (24 August 2012):
 Honestly, I would call him and ask what's up.
Vacationing in Ibiza is pretty much a FFA (free for all) party vacation. So I'm kinda wondering if he has withdrawn because he wants to be free to do whatever he wants in Ibiza.
Taking some time out to figure out if it is something worth pursuing or not, is a good thing, but you (well he) can't really do that without letting you know what's up.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (24 August 2012):
 Unless he has told you he needs space, it's hard to know exactly what is going on and after all, you are not a mind reader.
If you just had a casual thing but didn't put a lable on it, then maybe he has decided to call it a day and been a bit of a coward and decided to leave you stranded to work it out on your own. If it was a committed relationship and he called you 'partner' or 'girlfriend' then he needs to give you some kind of explaination as to what is going on.
If there was no trouble, disagreement or argument then there can be no logical reason why he suddenly needs space.
If he is going on holiday, maybe he wants to be a free agent before he goes in case he meets someone while he is away.
Seems a bit odd that you don't feel comfortable enough to ask him why he's behaving like this, it's almost as if you are afraid to rock the boat...and that is not good!!
Phone him and ask him where you stand, so if things are over, at least you can deal and move on and not be left hanging.
I think that is reasonable.
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