A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hello, i'm a 14 year old female living in england. I know this page is for love and sex questions but i have a really important one...about bulling. Its a long story but please read.Last friday me and my friend "AM" skived school. Even though i was aware of what i was doing, she was kind of presuring me into it and now i feel extremely ashamed of myself for letting her get into my head. The next day i had a big falling out with her and this other girl called "CR". We fell out about a homework progect we were ment to do together, but "AM" and "CR" didn't do it and i had to finish of the entire project wich, as you can imagen, i was really upset about. The worst part was that they started making fun of me and when i said we were ment to do it TOGETHER. They were just like "oohh F***ing P*** off! Don't be such a twat" etc. I was really angry. So anyway, "AM" and "CR" have been getting at me ever scince. Calling me names and giving me 'evils'. I've just ignored it but when "CR" started teasing me about my accent...well, i didn't ignore it. But that just made them take the piss even more!! i must warn you, "CR" is very thick and "AM" is natuarlly nasty. I was probably only friends with her in the first place because we are the only two girls in a class together.Here is the punchline: Bitchy cows that they are, "CR" and "AM" started a rummor about me. Apparently "AM" said that i had called "LP" a ugly lezbian etc. This is really seriuos because "LP" has anger management issues, is a complete chav and resolves everything by fighting. And i have not had the best relationship with "LP"(We got in a little arguement 6 months back but i appologised just to stop it all).So "LP" came up to me after school with all her chav friends. She told me that "AM" said i had called her a lezbian. This was not true so i said i didn't. She told me afterwards "If i find out you called me a lezbian young lady i'm gunna f***ing smash your face in!!".I really don't want to fight "LP". She is about 12 stone and shameless and i am an A* student and about 8 stone. I probably could take her no because i am a black belt and good at kick-boxing. The main reason i don't want to get into a fight is because i'm still in deep punishment for skipping school and i'm worried i'll get suspended. What can i do? I need to stop this!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2008): TELL SOMEONE!this may seem a lil unsensitive, but why the hell haven't you told someone?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! someone is threatening to hysically hurt you, that is really serious, tell your parents, then follow their advice, whether its to tell your teacher or whatever, but its really important you get it stopped!I know what im talking about because i was in a similar situation a few months ago, not as serious, but my friend MW started rumors about me, ignore me, was rude to me, LF completely ignored me! but i just ignored them and they backed off, HM was totally out of order, but i told a teacher and we are now like, practically best friends!!Just tell someone you trust IMMEDIATLEY! you can't let this go on!
A
female
reader, Midge +, writes (16 June 2008):
 This is a difficult question because I dont feel that there is any "right" way to sort this out without anyone being put into a difficult situation.
Okay, I was bullied at primary school and I mean big time! So I can see where you are coming from. Its not nice and most certainly not right to bully anyone!
So, if it were me in your situation having the experience that I have had with bullying, I would firstly stay as far away from AM and CR as possible! Let them call you whatever they want, you know its not true so dont let it worry you.
The issue is with this girl LP. Its not a question of whether you can take her on or not, its a case of whether its right or not to condone fighting and I dont believe it is. Fighting is wrong unless you are defending yourself.
If it were me, I would probably ask LP tp meet me somewhere alone and nicely explain that you did not and would not speak such nonsence about her. That way if you tell her face to face without her friends or your friends being around you have more chance of speaking to her one on one. Advise her that you may have had your differences but that it is not you that is spreading rumours around about her.
Failing that, I suggest you go and speak to a school counsillor and discuss the matter with them.
Sorry I couldnt be more help! Let us know how you get on!
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A
female
reader, Phoenix-Rose +, writes (16 June 2008):
Well to start off i'd like to say well done for talking about it. But lets get to the main point. I think you should tell a teacher or your parents what is going on because then they can decide what is best for your safety. I wass bullied when i was younger but it was only emotionally not physically. Ithink the best solution is to let someone know before it gets extremely out of hand, at least at this point you can stop it before anything does actually happen. I'd also advise you to maybe try and make new friends as this can help your confidence.
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A
male
reader, Manximus  +, writes (16 June 2008):
 Well with the bullying hun, you really do need to speak to someone at the school.
If you think you can take her though hun, I would go for it. Bullies bully because they can. They choose easy targets who are smaller and weaker and rarely fight back.
The school may suspend you for fighting, but if the teachers have any common sense, they will understand that it was self defence. You could give this girl a good hiding and be able to walk away with your head held high. Even IF you lost the fight, I think the bullying will stop. Not many bullies will bully someone that isn't afraid to hit back.
M
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