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Bullies and really confused.

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Question - (16 October 2007) 5 Answers - (Newest, 16 October 2007)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

hello im 15 and at school i am always bullied mentally/verbal. i dont know what to do because they are starting to get to me and it really depressing i want to move or switch school but my parents push it away when i bring the topic up. how should i handle my actions

(i do have a good amount of legal income coming in should a get emancipated or to extreme) one last thing there is about 20 of them bullying me

thankyou to whoever answers

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A female reader, xapathyxrebornx United Kingdom +, writes (16 October 2007):

xapathyxrebornx agony auntHey

I was bullied too and I left school because of it and moved to a new one. But no matter what and wherever yo go in life there will always be bullies there.

You have two options.

Fight or flight

basic human instinct.

You want to fly...but doing that would lead to the possibilities of more bullies anyway.

I suggest you fight back. Dont randomly go up to one of them and just Spazz out..do it for a reason so when they next upset you go for one of them then. Go for the one they think is more tough. Seeing you hit that person they'll think

"Woah - shit."

I did this. A guy (I'm like a girl so i find this quite amusing) was seriously bulling me...he was like the leader of all of the bullies... I i gave him a punch in the stomach...so he punchewd me in the face...so I punched him in the face, broke his jaw and then kicked him in the balls and quite quickly too...then no one else tried anything with me.

So thats my suggestions..dont freak out unless its really bad and you see red or something

Hope this helps x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2007):

You need to approach your parents in a serious manner.

Tell them that if they dont sit down and listen to what you are going through then you will refuse to attend school. You need someone to take control of this situation and look out for you, your parents are being irresponsible by not addressing it. lets face it how many kids willingly want to move school at your age?

I dont agree with violence but I do agree 100% with defending yourself, if the time rises when you need to stop yourself getting hurt then do your worst.

Also I would make teachers aware of whats happening to you - cant be too careful in this world, especially these days, kids get killed by these morons.

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A male reader, jamey_37 United States +, writes (16 October 2007):

jamey_37 agony auntHere's my answer. Plain and simple.

Bullies are pussies.

They're douche bags.

They pick on you because they have very low self-esteem.

KNOW THAT YOU ARE BETTER THAN THEM BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE TO PICK ON SOMEONE ELSE TO FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOURSELF!!!

They're is about 20 of them because they're scared you'll fight back.

And guess what.

That's EXACTLY what you need to do.

I struggled with being bullied for years. Since about 3rd grade. I'm in 11th now and it still happens. BUT not by whole groups anymore because they know I'll fight for myself. Never let anyone take advantage of you like this. You have self worth. Live up to it.

Here's another thing. I bet that this group of bullies isn't respected by anyone. If you don't know that already, you'll find out that people only pretend to like them cuz they're scared of them. I bet there's a leader of the group too. All the rest are too stupid to not follow someone that no one actually likes.

If you want to get rid of your bully problems, here's the best way... Next time they try anything.. (1). make sure you're in a public place. school, the street, anywhere. (2) Pick out one guy who's either the leader or the one who's giving you the worst time at the moment, and just hit him. do it hard. Do it somewhere that'll hurt.. but not anywhere that'll break (the jaw) or where internal organs will be damaged (gut). Cuz then they can send you to juvi for dumb reasons. Hit them in the arm, the chest, or right below their sternum (breast bone) that'll knock the air out of them with hardly any force at all.

All you really need to know is that you're better than them, and if you have to, you have a legal right to defend yourself.. punch one of them even if you're not punched first. (but only once) That'll tell them that you'll take it to the very end. you're not going to back down. It will earn they're respect. They'll back down.

Look dude... I only know this because it's how I had to deal with it myself. It works.

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A female reader, toughlove United States +, writes (16 October 2007):

When I read your questions, I see that what you seek is escape. It's ok to have that, you even need it, but only temporarily. Run away from all your problems.... and then run back and tackle them - either head on or otherwise. You have to find your style of fighting.

You really shouldn't read my advice. The best I can do is to advise you to stand up to the bullies. Speak back up to them, even if there are more of them than there is of you.

This is how you do it: you have to really relax. Go to some place you really like and/or do something you really enjoy and then let all the stress of being bullied melt away so that you come as close as you can to imagining this can never happen again. Then, mentally imagine your bullies. Really sink into them psychologically so that you are sort of listening to them.

Then go back to school in this new state of calm. Remember how strong you are and how you would rather be hurt physically than insulted. Then just stand up for yourself alittle, not a lot right away. Sort of find your groove and if someone crosses you cross them back just a little. It's ok that you are afraid of them, there's no shame in that, its ok that they do things that bother you sometimes, but define your limits. Decide what you will not tolerate and stick to that.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2007):

First of all I am sorry that you are going through this. This is not a good thing and if your parents doesn't take you seriously then maybe you should talk to someone at school like your guidence councellor or even the principal. Do not be afraid to tell someone. Bullies could even hurt you sometimes, these days all sorts of bad stuff happens at schools, therefore you should tell a responsible adult that will help you.

Please be brave and do this, bullies are the weak ones here. I have a daughter who just turned 14 and I would not like that for her. Please get someone to help you. Good luck.

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